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Poet deVine
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2001-04-25 09:18 PM

**Note: this is one of my 'Immortal Women' poems..I'm thinking I need to put them together in a book or something...

Immortal child, whose name is Soul
She joins in this Immortal game
Warrior’s sword becomes her toy
Wields it fiercely, without shame

At twelve years old, a youngling still
She wandered from Immortal camp
Lost, alone and bewildered now
Soon she grew weary, cold and damp

Young Soul sank with the setting sun
To rest ‘pon bed of fallen leaves
Not knowing that her recklessness
Was why her fearful mother grieves.

Tis said that mortal men still hunt
Women of the Immortal clans
And if young Soul was to be found
She’d likely die by some man’s hands

The darkened night murmured her name
A chant to keep her safe from harms
When Sister Sun rose in the east
Young Soul was cradled in her arms

The Immortal they all called Young Soul
N’er returned to Immortal clan
Tis said she dances with moon’s light
Safe from the sins of mortal man

© Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
1 posted 2001-04-25 10:06 PM

An intriguing piece, Sharon.  Stirring are the truths/reflections in some stanza's.  I believe the soul to definately be immortal - though in some cases, I know many souls would wish otherwise.  I sure would like to see this "whole" collection together.  Send it to me if you can.


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-04-25 11:20 PM

Great poem Sharon! Yes I feel souls are immortal.....especially mine. Mine is the most immortialistiest!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-04-26 07:03 PM

great poem...
i also think u should put this into a collection of poetry..
i would buy it
keep writing...bye


death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
4 posted 2001-04-26 09:03 PM

Much enjoyed!  It had a great meter for the most part, flowed wonderfully.     I like the term "immortal child..." it's very thought-provoking... and I like that.  

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-05-23 02:26 PM

When y' make the book, tell me! I soooo must buy a copy. This story is so calming and beautiful.... and sadly wise. Encore!

She said burn ... together.

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