Slipping between hour hands

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Slipping between hour hands

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2003-08-25 02:02 PM

The stage is too clean and waiting for sweat,
the pound of rhythmic falls, sounding in union.
The shadows in old music thrown to the walls
are exercised nightly, forged by young energy.

The need to celebrate an end with a new beginning --
a simply told story finding truth in the dark.
The sensual unreeling, submitting to collapse.
Every breath your last ... until the next one passes.

Charged in the moment, breaking entropy.
Casting out doubt and killing off failure.
Slipping between hour hands, cleanly in step,
and never falling back. And yes. Oh, their giving!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

1 posted 2003-08-25 02:51 PM

Night club or concert hall?
been awhile since i've been to either, nice writing

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2003-08-25 03:24 PM

That's two possibilities.

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2003-08-25 04:29 PM

A simply told story finding truth in the dark.

I love that line.

Nice pic... it looked like someone I know for a few moments..

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

4 posted 2003-08-25 09:21 PM

I got a couple of really cool interpretations out of this one - that's one thing I love about your poetry, my mind can play with it like play doh. heh And this line? "Slipping between hour hands, cleanly in step," LOVED it!

Nicole

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

5 posted 2003-08-26 04:39 AM

This was kinda cool. I liked your "scientific" analysis of what appeared to me to be the act of dancing. The clock/hand imagery was a nice touch, incoking both a sense of time and escape into timelessness. On the whole, another great poem by you, imho.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

6 posted 2003-08-26 12:24 PM

Thanks, everyone. As for the picture, the fright is completely staged.

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