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brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa

0 posted 2003-07-24 01:50 AM



red makes a bell sound
and hollows you

gold lipped
and dry-brown

you flutter
  - a treeless leaf

into my hand's mouth
and die

three times around
is the key

my trunk withdraws
and you wrap

the blood around
each vein

© Copyright 2003 brian sites - All Rights Reserved
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
1 posted 2003-07-24 06:57 AM


too many lines here that made me drool to quote.

into my library

Instant karma's gonna get you.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-07-24 07:46 AM


You are meditation.

You don't just describe, you become the very thing itself.

I'm not sure why, but this reminded me of that time I told you about--in the courtyard of that pub. Hmmm...maybe I'll just shut up and write about it.

You inspire me, m'love.


Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-07-24 11:09 AM


this reminds me of the song bleed..well without the f word but honestly this is beautiful and tragic...I will look forward to more

"take all these strings, they call me veins..wrap them around every..(coughs) thing"

[This message has been edited by Wind (07-24-2003 12:10 PM).]

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2003-07-24 02:01 PM


I like the imagery.  I don't entirely understand this poem's intent, I'm not good at analyzing the vivid-images-in-simple-language stuff.  Call me crazy, call me dumb, call me whatever.  

I can't really comment on your poem because I honestly don't understand it.  I'll read it later, maybe...

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2003-07-25 04:15 AM



Brian...this is amazing...YOU are amazing.
A master of imagery for sure.
Love this, my friend..

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
6 posted 2003-07-25 03:14 PM


I really enjoyed the read, thanks for sharing

Andy

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2003-07-25 10:16 PM


You and others
are why I don't write here...

I can't match up.

But I can bless you
for leaving these...

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
8 posted 2003-07-26 09:03 AM


You are the leaf . . .
amazing . . .
xxoo

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
9 posted 2003-07-27 12:30 PM


thank you everybody...

and Brian?
dont worry about it
I dont understand it either
I just take down the dictation
and I am not kidding

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
10 posted 2003-07-28 04:03 PM


Oooh shiver shiver. I enjoyed this....

  ~Carly

"How inimitably graceful children are in general before they learn to dance!"
           --Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
11 posted 2003-07-28 09:01 PM


Pure Sites thru and thru, powerful use of images there's a disjointed feel to this throws the reader off balance..know what i mean?
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
12 posted 2003-07-30 10:27 PM


I've got to borrow Carly's reply..shivers...just oohhhhh...*speechless*

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

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