ring the blood - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

0 posted 2003-07-24 01:50 AM

red makes a bell sound
and hollows you

gold lipped
and dry-brown

you flutter
- a treeless leaf

into my hand's mouth
and die

three times around
is the key

my trunk withdraws
and you wrap

the blood around
each vein

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

1 posted 2003-07-24 06:57 AM

too many lines here that made me drool to quote.

into my library

Instant karma's gonna get you.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-07-24 07:46 AM

You are meditation.

You don't just describe, you become the very thing itself.

I'm not sure why, but this reminded me of that time I told you about--in the courtyard of that pub. Hmmm...maybe I'll just shut up and write about it.

You inspire me, m'love.

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-07-24 11:09 AM

this reminds me of the song bleed..well without the f word

but honestly this is beautiful and tragic...I will look forward to more

"take all these strings, they call me veins..wrap them around every..(coughs) thing"

[This message has been edited by Wind (07-24-2003 12:10 PM).]

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2003-07-24 02:01 PM

I like the imagery. I don't entirely understand this poem's intent, I'm not good at analyzing the vivid-images-in-simple-language stuff. Call me crazy, call me dumb, call me whatever.

I can't really comment on your poem because I honestly don't understand it. I'll read it later, maybe...

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2003-07-25 04:15 AM

Brian...this is amazing...YOU are amazing.
A master of imagery for sure.
Love this, my friend..
"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

6 posted 2003-07-25 03:14 PM

I really enjoyed the read, thanks for sharing

Andy

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2003-07-25 10:16 PM

You and others
are why I don't write here...

I can't match up.

But I can bless you
for leaving these...

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

8 posted 2003-07-26 09:03 AM

You are the leaf . . .
amazing . . .
xxoo

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

9 posted 2003-07-27 12:30 PM

thank you everybody...

and Brian?
dont worry about it
I dont understand it either
I just take down the dictation
and I am not kidding

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

10 posted 2003-07-28 04:03 PM

Oooh shiver shiver. I enjoyed this....

~Carly

"How inimitably graceful children are in general before they learn to dance!"
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

11 posted 2003-07-28 09:01 PM

Pure Sites thru and thru, powerful use of images there's a disjointed feel to this throws the reader off balance..know what i mean?

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

12 posted 2003-07-30 10:27 PM

I've got to borrow Carly's reply..shivers...just oohhhhh...*speechless*

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.