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Sonnets for my nephew
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Sonnets for my nephew |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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(written having put to sleep a toddler so distressed with bed-time that it brought him to crying) Sonnets for my nephew O nephew, whom the sleepy hours taunt-- Thou being thick with innocence and woe Wherefore canst thou not, to thy chamber, go When nine the clock hath rung? What sorrows haunt Thy vision, and what monsters lurk in wait To see thy curtain close, thine eyelids fall That they might feast upon thee? What doth crawl To lure thee outward from thy peaceful state Into a fit of crying? There is not An eye upon thee in the night, no plans Or dark conspiracy--fold not thy hands In horror--no, let horrors be forgot And turn instead thy senses to a close But for a good-night kiss upon the nose. For I have seen them all, the closet beasts Who fill the air with threats that they exist To lick thy skin and taste thee, and persist To draw thee into some exotic feast-- I have exposed a blade myself, to fend Them backward, to their dark, infernal pits And threw my own self to ecstatic fits Of biting nails--and how my bites did rend Them dull! Behold my hand awhile, and see What now remaineth--trimm'd by tooth and worry As if I, in some ever-pressing hurry Did bite them once, and still to biting flee When I myself am victim to the wraiths That tease me out of scientific faiths. But there is not a tear so justly spill'd By one with eyes so innocent as thine So I advise, for not the sorrows pine But for the time thy tiny ear is fill'd Once more with chiming motion in the halls That lift thee with the drowsy, waking voice Of morning--And the then-more-pressing choice Of cereals and milk, when loving calls From mother cradle thee into the day-- There is no darkness here, no silent grind Of echo in thy oft-unsettl'd mind, There drift not brilliant colours into grey That cannot wake, as thou wilt, when the shine Of morn doth rouse those drowsy eyes of thine. [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (05-21-2003 01:03 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
These are just the sweetest... I think you have just convinced ME that sleep is not a punishment... and it occurs to me right now, that I have bragged on your writing so much to others, and so seldom to you. There is no critique for you. I read and just wonder: "How'd he do that?" Your command of formal language never sounds forced or stilted--I'm convinced you are a time traveler.  Thank you for the bedtime sonnets--maybe no nightmares tonight. Hugs you. You have managed to both astonish and soothe me. And if it's true that you read these to your nephew, I would have loved to have seen that. A touching scene indeed. And? about this writing talent of yours?  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
the moth will be back when her eyes are actually functioning  oh..hey groovy bug boyeeee.... when you have a min...Ive a poem floating in open... a slight revision of a older poem from (open 16)... Id love your input on the line breaks... they are always a pain... they get in the way of a long winded moths alliterations night Bri... night Sen ... night poetry land... night jon boy ( bon jovi) heh |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Serenity - Thanks for the sweet response... I'm glad you found these enjoyable. It's quick poetry, sure, I just came downstairs once I put him to bed and jotted them down. No, I didn't read them to him, and I'm not going to risk going and waking him up to do so now that he's sleeping. He wouldn't have the attention span to listen. Maybe when he's older I'll show them to him, and see if he remembers that night. Thank you for your compliments. No, I'm not a time-traveller, but you'd really think so with my taste in books... JM - Of course I'll check out your poem when I have a minute or ten. I peek now and notice that you stole my invisible "edited by" trick! You must REALLY pay too much attention to my posts.  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Now.... I have no idea how you write this way or maintain the use of language and of meter as you do... but I do know.. you are damned good at... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
O nephew, whom the sleepy hours taunt-- Thou being thick with innocence and woe Wherefore canst thou not, to thy chamber, go When nine the clock hath rung? What sorrows haunt ============================== But there is not a tear so justly spill'd By one with eyes so innocent as thine So I advise, for not the sorrows pine But for the time thy tiny ear is fill'd Once more with chiming motion in the halls That lift thee with the drowsy, waking voice Of morning--And the then-more-pressing choice Of cereals and milk, when loving calls From mother cradle thee into the day-- There is no darkness here, no silent grind Of echo in thy oft-unsettl'd mind, There drift not brilliant colours into grey That cannot wake, as thou wilt, when the shine Of morn doth rouse those drowsy eyes of thine. ==================================== You are a living, breathing sonnet...A lean ,mean rhyming machine I do so love the places you find your inspiration in. Your a lesson in the art of knowing poetry is everywhere. These are beautiful verses...you take the classic language and style and put your own signature on it, make it your own and make it look like its second skin. Thats as impressive as the poetic result. Me? I give em Benadryl. JUST KIDDING!! LOLEdit code? I think your fellow Canadian, poetess Mysteria sent it to me a long time ago..Im a left handed moth..I need all the help I can get. LOL I refuse to accept that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism & war that the daybreak of peace can never be reality. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Ron - Well you'd better figure it out if you want a collaboration with me, hm? Maybe... JM - Oh you sweet girl... nah, I'm not a sonnet... sonnets are too short. I actually intended this to be a sonnet, but then I ended up drawing it into a second and then finally a third one. I really can't write short poetry, 'cause I always end up having more that I want to say. Sigh... Love where I find inspiration? Heh, well, if you were as useless as I am you'd have lots of quiet time to just sit around and stare into space thinking about what your next poem's going to be about. Thanks for your compliments, always... As for the edit code. That was me first! Everyone does that now! Grr... |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Hey, i never knew sonnets can actually be that enjoyable! (guess i'm sheding unfavourable light on my ignorance) quote: These 2 lines made me smile...and for me, they were a testimony as to the amount of empathy and understanding that have gone into creating this piece...the seeing of things from your nephew's eyes... Kudos for this delightful read |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
When the time comes, as it surely will? You are going to be an excellent father. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*points at the screen with a soft "woah"* Brian... you are my hero... and right now that's saying something lol. Wow, I'm totally floored. Wanna write me a poem?   |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Brian: as I have said before an old soul . . . this is so beautiful in its simplicity and magnificient in its deliverance. xxoo |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I'm starting to think I should be studying for these evil finals... yep... but my first one isn't for,oh, two and a half hours, so I'll stop rambling now and get to the point... Once again, I must bow down to you, Brian. You are amazing, truly amazing and I enjoy everthing of yours that I am so privleged to read. Replying to your work is always a hard task for me because I want to provide a reply deserving of the work, and that is impossible. My appreciation for formal language is strengthened with your works- they always sound so proper! All of the hatred that I find into Shakespeare is matched by love that I discover in your work. I hope that last sentence made sense because my brain has become cottage cheese in the past few days. Once again, I applaud you. Excellent job. (guess what- I finally discovered this forum! yay for me..!) |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is just too cute and sweet... they have a lot of depth too. I always liked the kids stories that you can dig into and find really philosophical undertones. The meter was perfect (of course, it's Brian), and to me it's like a sweet little lullaby. I can imagine you fending off the monsters that the baby imagines *sigh* My hero! Oh, make me Thine forever |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
LP I believe you are a most worthy person and poet...and someday, if I am still around, I will be able to say I knew him...because I think you are going places even now!  for this sweetness in you. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
I'm just going to smile, nod my head in your direction and commend you on a job well done. You've mastered the style, Mr Lee. ~AF~ I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This is a very enjoyable collection of sonnet-stanzas. Once again you have combined "poetic diction" with an issue that, though probably not new, still has modernday relevance. Nicely done poetry. I'll be storing this to my library. BTW, I saw Titus, the recent movie adaptation of Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus. Has anyone else seen it? What did you think of it? 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I admit I'm still afraid to read your poetry because I still don't know how to comment..you know you're far better than me...I'm not worthy to be considered a poet..urhhh yeah..anyways I need to lay off the vodka.. but how do you do it? If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
There is no darkness here, no silent grind Of echo in thy oft-unsettl'd mind, There drift not brilliant colours into grey That cannot wake, as thou wilt, when the shine Of morn doth rouse those drowsy eyes of thine. Brian, this is so sweet. I could almost see you reading these to your little nephew while you had him in your arms. You know, you have the most beautiful way of writing. You write like the classic poets. You are so talented. I wish I could write like you do. Thanks for sharing this wonderful tender poem with us.  Hugs Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (07-26-2003 03:13 AM).] |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
again I say... I dont know how you do it you seem to breathe this stuff I swear I could have read this back in highschool Shakespeare section you are that good I am ignorant yes of this style but I just see....seamless.. deep....beautiful verse youse the master at this awesome Brian |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Powerful images in the second sonnet and superb usage throughout. Funny how something once thought of as punishment is now the greatest gift i can ask for. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
You can bring dignity to any situation. I tip my hat. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"And turn instead thy senses to a close But for a good-night kiss upon the nose." Brian, this was absolutely delightful. The flow, the rhythm, the choice of wording ... just wonderful. I enjoyed this thoroughly from start to finish. Really well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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anawnda Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113 |
ey!!!! remember me? been away for a long time been busy with my band, were called "sex-ed in cuba" =), hope you check out my comeback poem, i really value your opinion, great poem btw, you never fail to impress me...... * you can hurt me...with your bare hands,or |
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