Seasons Change (Response to PdV's challenge)

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Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

0 posted 2001-03-30 04:48 PM

All she wants to do is cry

but all she can do is bear
the terrible welling

barely

this incorporeal fist
that knots up her throat – you know…
the one that won’t let go
and it twists, choking
laughing
at the tears that refuse to spill

She remembers (or was that a dream..)
the two wheels of almost-summer
and the smell of sun warmed cotton
her fists, bunched
inside the pockets of another
(he maintained the balance)
she sat, crouched
clasped onto certainty

meanwhile

the world screamed by
as the wind licked her hair in tendrils
and scrubbed her fevered skin

remembers, how
he was just the right height
to kiss her nose
without bending
(and he did, once)
the feel of his breath
moist warmth, as it lightly
teased across her lips

somehow she justifies the pain
with fancy words, prettied and imagery’d
but she needs something more
more than the dark recess
the poetic haven
of her mind
of her memories

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

1 posted 2001-03-30 04:57 PM

"somehow she justifies the pain
with fancy words, prettied and imagery’d
but she needs something more
more than the dark recess
the poetic haven
of her mind
of her memories"

Don't we all feel this way?
That was really good Nicole
One day.....

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-03-30 05:18 PM

Ooh... this is good. It simply radiates the power of your words. Very good answer to the challenge!

~Allan

Its rather handy being at the top of the food chain...you can sort things out and not get the blame for it. ~~Elizabeth Johnson (anonymousfemale)

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member

since 2000-10-13

Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods

3 posted 2001-03-30 05:44 PM

See, this is where I wish I DIDN'T know you, so I could promise that I'm not biased... will you take my word for it?

Believe me when I say that reading your verses is like sticking a long steel needle (thin as a hair, cold like a concrete floor in the summer) inside this little secret corner of me... and this time, it's nearly sweet and overly nostalgic and longing. And maybe it's that I can relate, or that you do this without realizing there is any power in your words, or that the little tumbling of letters springs up half a million memories in my heart that match them. Nic, you have -- above all things -- the gift of VOICE. And there I am biased... I'd rather read from someone who has something to say, and the ability to need it when they speak, than anything else in the world. And it has nothing to do with how much I love ya

huggles and cackles and supersuperherohugs

thanks for this one, Queen of Spinach ... with Spring closing to summer, it was perfect timing.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

4 posted 2001-03-30 06:40 PM

If we do another book, THIS must be in it!! It's excruciatingly wonderful...

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2001-03-30 08:34 PM

I agree with Sharon...wonderful!!!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2001-03-31 10:02 AM

Nicole~
Very, very nicely done.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-03-31 07:34 PM

Nicely done here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

8 posted 2001-04-02 01:32 PM

Nic, your writings are simply astounding, utilizing the clarity of depth of emotional frustration at the lack of tangible release. I also enjoy the writing style. It's more narrative based with subtle and no so subtle breaks to divert time and attention here and here, making the reader shift to the other perspective, that one that impacts the happy-go-lucky mimsical perusal. Very very well done.

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

9 posted 2001-04-02 02:23 PM

Ouch -

This is almost excruciating... You words are a poignant as ever, Nicole.

Oh, and btw, I never thought you were snotty...LOL

so I have a hard time believing anyone else would.
Michael

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

10 posted 2001-04-04 01:08 AM

Add this to the list of "sad" songs, eh? 'Bout brought tears to my eyes lady - as only you can.

BOL

C

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

11 posted 2001-04-27 01:46 AM

wonderful poem...
and nicely written..
keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

12 posted 2001-04-28 08:59 PM

Nicole, I've read this over and over, your words are so emotional, and so aptly put.. this makes for brilliant reading, and the feelings behind this poem made me want to cry.. this is beautiful, and I loved reading every word of it..

Love, Lynne

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

13 posted 2001-04-28 09:50 PM

like others before me, i am awed by the power and intensity of your words

and i relate to your sentiments muchly...sometimes, words don't mean anything

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

14 posted 2001-05-10 10:14 PM

Very well done, Nicole, and powerful...

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