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Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

0 posted 2003-07-17 12:17 PM

Again, not sure if I'd call myself "back," but I wanted to share this delightfully nasty new poem. Thanks for the well wishes and praise yesterday. I appreciate it.


The nicest thing she ever did was die
The nicest thing she ever did was die.
In fact, it was the only act
in which she thought of others.

A hagiography is cast,
limned in sepia, then gilt framed,
whenever someone dies.

And so she went from being
a thoroughly horrible, bullying woman
who laughed at other's pain

to someone who was nice to others,
kind and forthright, known to smile.
Once she even rescued a child

(you see how these events are twisted?)
rather than being the one herself
to try and run him down.

The going story: she didn't like
when he stole fruit from her trees,
so she planned to do him in.

You will find it hard to believe
the woman could ever be that cruel
from the way her mourners wail.

The case was thrown out, after all.
The evidence was circumstantial at best.
And she was a very good actress.

You will find it hard to believe,
this woman could plot an innocent's death.
No wonder you wonder, now that she's dead.

It's the nicest thing she ever did.
And since she's suddenly inherited friends,
it was probably also the smartest.

© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2003-07-17 01:38 PM

I've been to exactly one funeral and I swear I'm never going to another one.  I hate how everyone is made out to be some kind of hero once they're dead, now insincere everyone becomes in light of their death, how everyone pretends to have loved the person and lies about who they were in tribute to them.  This is why I'm not having a funeral.

I liked this, it made me smile because I know exactly what it is that you're describing and I agree completely with it.  It's annoying, but at the same time it's kind of amusing.  Thanks for sharing this one, Mikey...   Hope all is going well with you.

Glad to have you back!!  


Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Poet deVine
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2003-07-17 07:23 PM

Oh, boy can I relate to this one!! I no longer can say anything bad about my ex husband because he died a couple of years ago (after we divorced). I feel guilty talking about the bad stuff he did!
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
3 posted 2003-07-17 08:41 PM

Stay awhile. Yes the veneration of the dead has always disturbed me. My aunt and uncle fought tooth and nail over everything, you've never seen a more miserable pair and everyday she screamed murder. Now she rewrites their history everytime she speaks his name always in it rings hollow. Funny this begins before they die too, just the act of getting old seems to absolve some from their sins. For years my brother complained about my father and now as my father ages he has a selective memory about the incidents that shaped him..i'm rambling..nm stay awhile
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
4 posted 2003-07-18 03:35 AM

Wonderful write, and I too can agree with you and everyone else here.  This makes me remember something that my late Grandfather used to say when he was alive...

"Give me my flowers while I am here on Earth, because after I am gone...I won't need or care one way or another."

Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
5 posted 2003-07-18 05:23 PM

Hehe I loved reading this, I could echo the thoughts of those who have gone before me but all I will say is that I enjoyed it, great writing


Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
6 posted 2003-07-19 01:53 AM

like I already said . . .
I thought this was funny
brilliant Mikey indeed

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
7 posted 2003-07-19 02:56 PM

LOL at LP's reply.
ME? I'm not going to die, much less have a phony funeral where someone can cry and carry on as if they had truly cared.

Good to see you in the blue zone.

Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
8 posted 2003-07-19 10:55 PM

The title caught my attention right away.  "The nicest thing she ever did was die".  Hmm.  What or who could this be about?

Interesting write, b.

And, I'm not going to have a funeral.  I'd rather have a party.  Plus, I think I would like to have a round of pin the tail on the donkey because it is the stereotypical party game, however I have never played it.  Strange.

"Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns."~Anon.

Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
9 posted 2003-07-20 01:52 PM

Its good to see you nastysquirrel dude.

I can only echo the others. Loved the read

Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
10 posted 2003-07-20 03:21 PM

Mike, this is so true...I feel the way
everyone else does. I also hate for the
preachers to preach the meanest people right on into Heaven, too.

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (07-20-2003 03:22 PM).]

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
11 posted 2003-07-21 12:26 PM


good to see you again Mike

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