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Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

0 posted 2003-07-10 01:16 PM

Restless and twitching
At least she sleeps for now
Tiny droplets beading
On her hot and fevered brow

Damp hair glistens
As I brush it to the side
I knew this could happen
When I signed up for this ride

So I sit by her side
With a cloth, cool and damp
And with gentle motions
Her heated brow I tamp

A shuddered catarrh
Then how still she lies
One final squeeze of hand
And I say my last goodbyes

Alicat

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 2003-07-10 03:14 PM

Ali, this is so sad. Exceptional work though...

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2003-07-10 05:48 PM

in silence, offering a heart hug

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

3 posted 2003-07-10 05:57 PM

*smile* No worries. This one was not based off of any real-life instance, but simply from the pictures in my mind. Thank you both for your replies though.

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

4 posted 2003-07-12 10:24 AM

A very sad picture indeed... you did a very good job in potraying it to us, though. Sad and lovely write.

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

5 posted 2003-07-13 02:14 AM

Definetely sad, Kitten.
I like it though...seems it could be about a child.

I hope things are going well for you. Its great to see something after so long.

You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

6 posted 2003-07-13 03:54 PM

The title is misleading, but I like that. It made the ending more real, the same way that experiencing the death of a loved one would truly feel... hopeful at first, and then shattered by the loathesome, anticipated truth.

You wrote the process well, Alastair... and it definitely had a profound impact on me. This is something I wish I could learn to write.

Excellent work... and good to see you in Sanctuary.

Parasite

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

7 posted 2003-08-02 04:49 PM

I don't know how you do it, but you've done it again. Every poem you have written, that I've either read or heard you read stirs some kind of emotion. Much talent in you m'friend - take care you.

Hugs

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

8 posted 2003-08-02 06:29 PM

Great writing

Andy

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