Poetic Haven |
In Salt and Dark Stars ( duet with Bsquirrel) |
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
In Salt and Dark Stars The sun had just set behind the kedros trees I let my hands fall amongst the bulge of roots and watched how the forest became nubile wrapped in mystery. The phantasmal fog cut in; creeping silently through branches and leaves left speechless with the wilderness of foam. The sea did not flee with the sun you see it rose its belly to the surf; cresting through small sluicing stones. The waves fell forward in deep breaths lashing long against the shore pulling out, pushing on in salt and dark stars. They held me in the pause of night full of water and silvery fish the woman in me a cry of birds heavy with abandon. A small fire cast ghostly shades. Its violet light swam in the sand where it burned in smokey hues. Clotted clouds, the rippling tide. I walked the shore; the dusky surf broke against a leaning pier green and brown under the night. Moonlight glowing through the fog. With waves of wintered memories my shoulders cried a thousand words and the sea-spray gave my applause. Bsquirrel and Dark Angel 06/24/03 [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (06-24-2003 09:22 AM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I have been waiting for this! I'm glad I was patient, because GOOD things come to those who wait.... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes... good thing indeed...and more than worth the wait.. Bravo you two!!! Now.. other than that..I don't have words to give this the accolades it deserves... so just know I thought it extremely well done... and filled with the talents of both. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and watched how the forest became nubile wrapped in mystery. The phantasmal fog cut in; creeping silently through branches and leaves left speechless with the wilderness of foam. The sea did not flee with the sun you see it rose its belly to the surf; cresting through small sluicing stones. The waves fell forward in deep breaths lashing long against the shore pulling out, pushing on in salt and dark stars. =========================== A small fire cast ghostly shades. Its violet light swam in the sand where it burned in smokey hues. Clotted clouds, the rippling tide. I walked the shore; the dusky surf broke against a leaning pier green and brown under the night. Moonlight glowing through the fog. With waves of wintered memories my shoulders cried a thousand words and the sea-spray gave my applause. ====================================== OH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A duet of divine poet minds!!!!! I have sooooo been waiting for this. And just how is a moth in love with the ocean ever supposed to pick fave lines.. this is such a gorgeous, surreal write you guys...so much to worship properly.... the imagery..the personification..the alliterations ...the assonance... I AM GIDDY. VERY VERY COOL dueting Maree and Mike... take a bow..this is superb. and Mikey? come back and play in poetry land..the moth misses your poetry. All I can feel is this distance between you and me. I can say I love you but I can't make you believe me because touching is believing. cj [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (06-24-2003 10:00 AM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maree and Mike Fabulous use of words, imagery, emotive power...so lovely to read you two. Encore!! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
My jealousy gets in the way of saying how well you two write together. Hugs Mmy and ^5 to the bushy tailed rodent J There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Sunshinygirl, Cpat, Janet Marie, Martie and Jamie.....Thank you all so very much for your kind replies and your lovely compliments. It was a real pleasure dueting with Mike and I am honoured to have had the opportunity; so thank you Mike for allowing me, and for being patient with my absent-most-of-the-time muse. I’ve got to teach her some manners me thinks. If ever you would like to duet again (if I’m lucky) just say Jump and I’ll say..How High? [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (06-24-2003 05:11 PM).] |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
At long last the wait is over..grins A long anticipated duet from 2 of my favourite poets..what more could i ask? Stunningly beautiful, great work guys! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I had a great time with this, Maree. You have my e-mail, if'n you ever want to continue this partnership. Thanks, all. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
my shoulders cried a thousand words . . . I am gazing in awe at this beauty before my eyes the both of you have so selflessly placed xxoo |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This is exquisite stuff... wonderful you two ... regards sudhir |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
A powerful piece of writing -- E-ticket ride! You two are a good pair, and I hope you du-it again..... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'm fortunate... I didn't know a duet was in the process so I wasn't watching the clock... but this would have been worth waiting for! *S* Excellent collaboration! *S* |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Nicely written, you two. I know what to expect from Mikey's work, but I'm reasonably new to you, Maree... overall this is a rather nice piece of poetry, lots of imagery and abstract meaning packed somewhere inside all the flashy vocabulary... You did an excellent job... thanks for sharing. Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Gads! I've gotta get to poetic haven more often... A stirring write. Please accept MY applause. Ed |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
A beautiful joining of two breathtaking talents.....and one I'm proud to bring back into the light. Miss you around here, Maree....miss you big! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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