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Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

0 posted 2003-04-12 11:23 PM

lakes of malted drivel, wading in
and pouring tiny, grainy golden
casts of meaning
half-reflecting on the sunrise,
half-pretending suns are dead
hoarding something spacious somewhere
in the gaps within its
whole-some-ness like crimson,
beige, and pirouetting blues in birds
on tuesday after-mourn.

paraplanting's quite like kissing,
but without the flames or touch.
every inch beside the valley
braves and wanders to their lunch,
served in cupcake trays in winter
and in hollow gourds before.

i have yet to meet a someone
who can serve these in his palm,
taking time for long-inhaling
of completeness in the dawn;
soon, i promise, he will find me,
and my morns of drinks alone
will have risen to the byways
and departed with their own.

I belong in Narnia.

i've never wrung thick toffee through my nose,
i've never flung my soul up
on a setting English horse.
i have only once drunk raindrops
that were faint reminders of
orange mornings stole in silence
while an eyelid shied the sun.

i've never called a girl i loved a fleure,
or betrothed my feet to queens and kings
and wrinkly magistrates,
though i do remember dressing
in a velvet under-gown,
and the thrill of meeting no one
when it fell.

there is nothing rightly purer
(though a glass-light does come close)
than the girl i left on periwinkled floors;
for as long as I impair her
she will never learn to wander
and i'll find her, where i left her, on the moor.

[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (04-14-2003 04:01 PM).]

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2003-04-13 03:53 PM

Wow Carly... this is just powerful, and sad... and striking...

  I love how this is written, you use so many imagination-driven images that really got my mind into Narnia when I was reading this... I think I learned a lot about you just from this poem.

You don't belong in Narnia, sweetheart... you're so young, give life some time... and you'll see that there are people who do love you, and who will be there for you.

For now, I'm honoured to know you because someday, this poem will appear in poetry anthologies of the early 21st century poets... you'll be a star.

I think this is one of your best. I'm putting it in my library.

Brian

God becomes as
we are that we
may be as he
is
~William Blake

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2003-04-13 04:39 PM

Great writing Carly, this kind of just picked me up and carried me along, I felt compelled to keep on reading. I just love the imagery you use and create. Thanks for sharing

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

3 posted 2003-04-16 11:03 AM

nice job! I was getting the feeling of walking down hill as I read this. The choice of puncuation was marvelous. I would beging reading, anticipating a chance to catch my breath, my head leaning forward... then a period would come up and I could pause and begin again. Then I reread for meaning... wonderful work Carly.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2003-05-21 12:00 PM

I keep coming back and reading this, loving it every time. How come you don't post anymore, Carly Anne? I miss you...

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2003-05-21 12:42 PM

yeah. . . what LP said. . .

this is amazing. . . such insight and powerful emotions. . . tell me there's more???

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-06-29 06:44 PM

Carly:

I admire the fantasy-flight of this write.
The way you use metaphor is fascinating.

I love this line:

I belong in Narnia

You brought me to a place I have long since forgotten . . . thank you
and I do disagree with where you belong
This is quite an amazing piece
xxoo

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