Poetic Haven |
Mortar and Pestilence IV |
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Good night, my Lamb and Serpent true I've learned how not to think of You That thoughts in You are wasted The truth is as I always knew And as I've always tasted I know this world You've set for me I've counted it by what I see And what I hear and touch But what I think could never be Convincing, quite as much And with the pens and papers seen We scribe Your thoughts, and swipe them clean By truth in senses spoken Decide that You had never been That faith in You is broken Disgusting, how Your judgement rings Of justice drawn to shameless things Composed beneath Your eye That You could dare to grant us wings And damn us, should we fly So monstrous is Your judging hand That sends this stench upon the land Of pestilence and tar We crave to be not as You planned But as we really are The truth that all Your mortars made Leaves bathing minds in thoughts forbade Of sinful acts and pleasures For faith in You has been betrayed By wise and tactile measures I'll grant You not the sacrifice Of wisdom, as a better price Is faith for what is true The truth shall come, by our device And not by that of You. [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (02-10-2003 03:49 PM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Good night, my Lamb and Serpent true I've learned how not to think of You That thoughts in You are wasted The truth is as I always knew And as I've always tasted I know this world You've set for me I've counted it by what I see And what I hear and touch But what I think could never be Convincing, quite as much And with the pens and papers seen We scribe Your thoughts, and swipe them clean By truth in senses spoken Decide that You had never been That faith in You is broken Disgusting, how Your judgement rings Of justice drawn to shameless things Composed beneath Your eye That You could dare to grant us wings And damn us, should we fly ================================= I'll grant you not the sacrifice Of wisdom, as a better price Is faith for what is true The truth shall come, by our device And not by that of You. =================================== I'll tell ya true..it was real hard to single out verses in this...each one was as impressive as the next....wisdom set to rhymes divine. I was thinking while reading this how many interpretations could apply to this, the biblical influence being one...but another one that came to mind for me was how timely this piece is in light of the threat of war becoming more frightening every day. The ones in power believeing they hold the truths for all of us... As always your work leaves me wanting more... will have to go back and reread some of your previous pieces of this series. Cant think of a better way to spend me lunch break |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Damn. There's a worldveiw if I ever saw one. I can't say that I've read a better poetic display of what one feels in relationship to faith. Was this inspired by "Beyond Good and Evil"? "Decide that You had never been That faith in You is broken" These two lines really stood out to me. They seem to be the summation of your argument/article here. "my Lamb and Serpent true" Do you include the symbolic images of good and evil here, further impressing upon us you see neither as ultimately true? "Disgusting, how Your judgement rings Of justice drawn to shameless things" I wasn't sure what you meant by the last line.... his judgement disgusting, because it's drawn to shameless thing... what are to you the shameless things? "Composed beneath Your eye" Are you referring to judging us for doing the things which do not shame us? "That You could dare to grant us wings And damn us, should we fly" These two lines are beautiful (read very beautiful), but I'm not sure, theologically what you are saying. Here, are you referring to our imaginations, impulses, our mind, which can naturally does that which is judged wrong by God? This is inferring that it was His choice for those impulses to be there, right? The Christian reply would be that it wasn't his will that sin come into/onto us, hence the Crucifiction/Ressurection/Salvation aspect of Christianity, correct? Or would you see it differently? "The truth shall come, by our device And not by that of You." GREAT lines here. In this, you are saying that we/you find the truth by/in/for ourselves, and do not need a "absolute standard", such as the holy text (i.e. the Bible, Torrah, etc), as other religions seem to feel? While I don't agree with what you've come to see as truth (for myself), I respect that you've seen it as truth for yourself, and have an opinion for yourself, and hence that your language isn't "bahhhh." Great poem, by the way. Oh dear, 666 in my post count.... we should worry. ~Titus Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte. [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (02-10-2003 07:16 PM).] |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
By the way, if this is about war, then, damn, I was bloody off. It seemed to have parts that could be about war, but ultimately, it seemed overwhelmingly spiritually inclined. ~Titus |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Omg! Disgusting, how Your judgement rings Of justice drawn to shameless things Composed beneath Your eye That You could dare to grant us wings And damn us, should we fly I could not get over those last two lines. I think they're going to be stuck with me for a while...so, do tell, not just about faith, is it? That's my 'shallow' interpretation, but I should probably be off to figure out the rest of the series before I decide. ~Carly empty-armed |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The truth is as I always knew And as I've always tasted I know this world You've set for me I've counted it by what I see And what I hear and touch But what I think could never be Convincing, quite as much And with the pens and papers seen We scribe Your thoughts, and swipe them clean By truth in senses spoken Decide that You had never been That faith in You is broken Disgusting, how Your judgement rings Of justice drawn to shameless things Composed beneath Your eye That You could dare to grant us wings And damn us, should we fly =================================== this gets more impressive every time I read it.... The truth is as I always knew And as I've always tasted I know this world You've set for me I've counted it by what I see And what I hear and touch But what I think could never be Convincing, quite as much And with the pens and papers seen We scribe Your thoughts, and swipe them clean Disgusting, how Your judgement rings Of justice drawn to shameless things Composed beneath Your eye That You could dare to grant us wings And damn us, should we fly Yeah... YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!! |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
That You could dare to grant us wings And damn us, should we fly =============================== thy adoring public awaits thee ... dont keep the moth waiting |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Woohoo! 7 replies, and just three of them are by JM. And hey, 3 by titus. Which means 3 people read my poem. My adoring public of 3 whole people, eh? I usually wait for more responses before including a thank you message. Sorry for the lateness, JM. Thank you all for your responses... I didn't write this specifically about the war, but I have been reading a lot about that lately, as well as reading Saint Augustine's "Confessions," which raises a lot of questions about faith. I don't find Augustine's argument on knowledge of the non-material very convincing, so this entry into Mortar and Pestilence (which goes along with the theme of the series, that God's own creation denies His existence) discusses how the material contradicts the divine, and how the senses we have learned to trust should be considered more reliable than the superstitions we inherit. I'm trying to make this series as timeless as possible and for this reason I don't intentionally refer to any current events... Oh and JM... thank you so much for taking the time to read the whole series front to back. You know, that absolutely made my day on a day where I really needed that kind of attention. You're a real doll. Titus, much of your interpretation was on, some of it was off, but I think if you read my poem a second time keeping in mind the main focus of it (that God's creation disproves him), you'll be able to understand me more clearly. Carly, your shallow interpretation is right on. Are you calling me a shallow poet? I spent a lot of time toying with those lines you and JM seem so fond of, trying to get them just right. It's a simple analogy I've used before in discussions of the free will argument. I've often asked why God allows His creation the capacity to sin if He punishes them for sinning, and the response has usually been, "he wants people to have free will." Capacity to do everything isn't necessary for free will though... we don't have the capacity to fly, for example, but that doesn't make our free will any less present. Giving us the capacity to sin and then damning us for it, is the same as giving us the capacity to fly, and then damning us for it. That's what those lines are speaking of. Much love to all 3 of you, Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Honeychild..any time you need some attention of any kind...send the moth a smoke signal... |
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