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fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

0 posted 2003-02-08 08:16 PM

We weren't expecting her.
From out of the red and black starry void
came that battered vessel with her masked crew.
She docked with our present vital station
floating here in our Galaxy's hue.

It's like the just were.
The officers seemed nice enough,
we asked about their past and they couldn't recall.
Her captain seemed worried, not knowing what to do
to lead his crew past this new region-fall.

They left as quickly as they came
promising to write or speak or signal
The ghost-ship faded away without a word
We asked the peoples about that phantom ship
Concerning her nothing had ever been told or heard.

We never saw her again.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

1 posted 2003-02-09 05:58 PM

An interesting piece.. at first I thought it might be about the Columbia crew, but now I see that it's a piece about Heavenly visitors, that came for awhile and left again, not to return. A nice write..

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2003-02-10 11:10 AM

Now this is really fascinating.  I see you're starting to take a more indirect approach to the meaning you wish to express in your poetry, which I like.  This, I like before I've even tried to interpret it.  I am getting quite a bit though.

A story of a group of mysterious people, a crew of masked men, who came into the world without being expected, told us nothing of themselves really, and promised to keep contact... but were never seen again.  Hmm... interesting that we'd be so interested in keeping the contact when they couldn't recall their own past, what is it about this crew, and the "her" that is so intriguing?  And what is it about us, this "region-fall," that made them want to leave so quickly?

The "her" makes this almost sound like it's a poem about loss of love, which I suppose I could understand, as this storyline reminds me of a similar experience I've been having lately.  I'm going to have to read this one a few more times, I suppose.  Don't be afraid to give me some guidance here, Frac.

Great writing, looking forward to your next.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

3 posted 2003-02-10 09:42 PM

LP:

This poem is actually about myself. I am the vessel. The female pronouns are used in keeping with the metaphor of a ship. I have moved about the country a lot. Every time I have met many people and made many friends. I have promised to write all of them but then never actually written. In that respect, I am a mysterious person with a shaded forgotten past.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

4 posted 2003-02-11 10:06 AM

Whoa! Very clever way of saying all of that. I suppose I could suck more out of it other than your intentions..but I won't, not for this one. This poem felt very...lonely...ahh..*goes to read it a few more times*

~Carly

empty-armed
and half a soul to go
-el sol
--Zwan

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