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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2003-01-27 03:56 PM

Clean away the clinging shades.
Let the light loom its way in.
Breaking eggs on
broken sidewalk curbs.

The light is sticky.
Curling fingers on your neck,
a slow whisper of
"Breathe"
in cubicles --
asphyxiate.

You, adult.
Slashing. Smashing, really.
Histories
of unread papers
on the street.
Burned out clips.
Riot's right
to choose an end.
Repeat.

clips clips clips
clips clips clips clips clips

A sense of loss
in the motion
of twin silver
knives named blades,

taking you,
piece by piece
-- shhh, don't impede --
away.

The warmest handshake,
twinning eyes
staring at a
cardboard sieve
of paper names
on paper faces
in paper frames
for paper places.

Love the tax cut
and the shame
of dressing down to play your game.

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

1 posted 2003-01-29 10:09 AM

Very cool stuff here. Loved the sarcasm..and err..if it wasn't meant to be sarcasm, I apologize.

I keep going back and forth from liking the "paper" section to not liking it...I'm at like right now, so other than that I'll just say that commands are powerful, powerful things.

  ~Carly

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
   Old Time is still a-flying,
And this same flower that smiles to-day
   To-morrow will be dying."
              ~Robert Herrick

[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (01-29-2003 10:09 AM).]

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2003-01-30 03:12 PM

Man... I don't look forward to that. I like my hair, and I hope I don't have to cut it just because I get some job that requires me to look "professional." Took me ages to get my hair just how I like it and I'm not giving it up without a fight.

Yeah I sympathize, if this really did happen. Like you said, all part of being an adult - gotta be dressed up real nice for the game.

And I have to say, you wrote it quite well. Made me uncomfortable, 'cause it's something I worry about on my own time, but hey - that's what good poetry does, it digs down and sticks to your insides. This one's all over me.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

3 posted 2003-02-03 01:21 PM

It definitely happened.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

4 posted 2003-03-13 08:40 AM

I just love this, Its so wonderfully written and such a pleasure and at the same time so hard to read, this is one for the library, thanks for sharing it with us

My Violent Bedtime Stories

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

5 posted 2003-03-14 11:09 AM

Ahh yes, the entire scenario doesn't come across as a family entertaining experience. I never quite agreed with the concept of playing by other peoples rules unless you would impede anothers rights quite severely. It's a shame you had to let it go.

Quite a vivid piece overall and interestingly written as well. I did favour the second stanza over the others for the simple fact you really brought this one to life. You've managed to bring in crucial elements of life and death to play it down to a haircut at the end. Very cool.

~AF~

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

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