Poetic Haven |
Chilled ( an old one) |
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I asked Merlin From whence comes This fog, that lies So close and thick? He smiled and Pointed with chin To the North. "In winter, When the days shorten To barely leave room For sunlight to stoop Through days door, Chill creeps about In thief like passing Unseen but felt." "Tonight," Merlin whispered, "She is seen." I gathered cloak And thought of the ways You too had crept into my night [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (12-06-2002 06:51 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ooo, I like this side of your work, Ron. Interesting imagery, and like how the woman is the warmth AND the cold. Much better than my revision of an oldie -- Gray rain. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thnaks mikey... I sometimes wander off into a use of classical figure or imagery and or even speach... always tended to stay away from merlin... so often done and so often not taken for symbolically. sure wish I could spell.. (laughing) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron A bit different, but still you catch a person and feelings within the imagery of nature. I love how you do that! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes Martie it is a bit different for me... an older one actually written if I remember correctly... from a phrase someone threw out for writing... not one of my prouder moments here... ( laughing) |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I love the use of Merlin... particularly when you said "pointed with chin." It's that kind of thing that you do while you read it, ya know? Like when you're reading a book and it said "she half-coughed, half-laughed" and you stop and do it yourself before you go on... hope I'm not the only one... heh. The end is a bit of a twist, which I appreciate. I was wondering where the poem was headed and then you used it as an extended comparison with a briefly mentioned subject. Very nice, Ron. I really like this poem. Parasite Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
hmmm. lets see, where do i begin.......... whence? are you british? in thief? gathered cloak? well, you asked for it........ otherwise, i kind of liked it |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
"When the days shorten To barely leave room For sunlight to stoop Through days door," -- I absolutely love that phrase. It really stuck out to me. Exellent poetry here, truly excellent. *Krista Knutson* |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Hehehe, this is a neat one. I love these mystical poems that end up personifying events through other characters referred to by the speaker. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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