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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-12-03 06:37 PM

I read the poetry of stone,
etched by hands to suit the clay.
The trees are wet within the rain.
The sky is gray and cracking stone.

I read the poetry of clay
within puddles on the stone.
The rain had first dropped from the trees,
then its shadows turned to clay.

I read the poetry of rain
on the tree here smeared with clay.
Black leaves lay among the stone
from a flower torn by rain.

I will walk beyond the trees.
Puddles kneel beside your stone.
Fashioned fast, these names in clay
do bake and crack and speak the rain.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-12-03 06:42 PM

mikey...love the sounds in this one..and the images just seem to grow on you as you read...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-12-03 06:51 PM

Thanks, Ron. It started with an image of someone kneeling to read a gravestone, and strangely, it turned into this, with lots of end-word repetition. I'm glad you enjoyed.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-12-03 10:04 PM

Very interesting format. Reminds me of some kind of cropped and mixed-around Sestina style. Are you a fan of Sestinas? I like the choice of words you used to repeat themselves in this piece, they kind of went into one another. Stone, to clay (wet stone), to rain.

Nice work, Mikey.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

4 posted 2002-12-05 03:20 PM

i too like the words you choose to repeat in this poem, how they are all interrelated and give the poem an earthy quality. a very interesting read

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-12-05 07:17 PM

Parasite, yes, I've grappled with sestinas, and lost -- thrillingly! This poem features some form of my own meandering. Maybe it already exists in another state, modified and named precisely.

banburycross, thanks.

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