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quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

0 posted 2002-12-02 11:31 PM

Lost amidst the sea of sacrificed minds
and fruit dehydrators.
He’s bought me out
with a cheap uniform and stock options.
Selling my soul, snatching the pass
to that great fluorescent lighting store
above.

I wander aimlessly, through the hours
and days
of my cavity-laden existence.
Who am I to kid?
A simple-minded child
with sticky hands and a
rubber stamped dream.
[A sleeveless shrug.]

After all,
it came in the fortune cookie.

[[[now i'm just curious if anyone can get the full meaning out of this. heh. it's not the most intelligent or poetic piece, but hell, it's a poem. hahaha.]]]

/jen/

i'm so bitterly disappointed. betty, i think it's time you leave now.

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (12-02-2002 11:33 PM).]

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-12-02 11:39 PM

you don't like your job?  that's what I got out of it... heh.

Ah, don't despair.  You're going to UW next year.  I can show you the ropes, we can have lunch together, I'll even embarass you in front of everyone by pretending to be your boyfriend.  It'll be loads of fun, you'll see.

Only you, Jen... only you could write a poem about how you hate your job, and make it sound poetic and deep... even if you have a disclaimer... you're not fooling anyone with all that.

And how come your work always reads so modern?

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2002-12-03 04:36 PM

I truly enjoy your talent at expressing yourself and of creating images. You have layered this nicely so the metahpors and images can take on meanings in the readers mind to match their own experience.

nicely done Jen.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-12-03 06:54 PM

I worked at Wal*mart for four semesters once. I know th' pain of which you speak.

Not to mention, I have my screen so dark that your eyes sort of disappear into holes in your picture, giving a nice "Wal*mart is suckin' my soul away" effect.

Mike

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

4 posted 2002-12-03 08:12 PM

Retail...one of those nightmares that keeps on giving. I liked the fortune cookie twist.

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

5 posted 2002-12-29 10:44 PM

I have NO idea what this is about. Though I read Brian's reply and formed some idea. I spoke to Lizzy a few minutes ago and she said that you've a new job, so if this *is* about your job, well Im glad it's over with

I have to say that I couldnt quite connect with this poem as well as I could with your others. But you still made good use of imagery. Thanks for this Jen

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

Tramp Poet
Senior Member

since 2000-01-06

Posts 754
Could Be Anywhere...

6 posted 2002-12-31 03:20 AM

cracked open by a self-imposed masters hand,
our fortune pulled out and exposed for the
childish desires of our cookie-cutter lives?
lol or was i reading myself into it?

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

7 posted 2003-01-02 04:47 AM

I think this is a piece critiquing the almost religious practice of consumerism in our society today.  Firstly you mention the sacrifice of minds and the the dehydration of fruit, suggesting ritual sacrifice followed by a sense of moral decay through the image of the machines for draining the "juice" from fruit.

Secondly we find reference to the soul and a vague allusion to heaven in the idea of the "great fluorescent lighting store / above."  This suggests an upward struggle of each individual for this ultimately commercial entity above us.

In the next stanza there is little religious imagery, leaving me to suspect that the speaker is moving on to a harsh reality in which there are no "pearly gates" at the end of the road on which he/she has embarked.

The "cavity-laden existence" acts both as an expression of the candy-filled life of this particular child and as a metaphor for the often empty life he/she has chosen in his/her devotion to commercialism.

The sticky hands likely, at face value, allude to the abundance of candy obtained through commercial means.  They bare some resemblance to blood on the hands of a killer alerting us to his guilt.

The rubber stamp kinda stumps me...  Perhaps it has something to do with a teacher telling this child he will go somewhere, through some congradulatory stamped assignment, or perhaps it has to do with mass marketing profiling the child as a good target for advertising.

Finally, the fortune cookie may act to tie the religious undertones in the beginning of the poem with the harsh reality in its latter half.  The fortune cookie is both something we know to be random, but also as something signifying the mystical ideas of luck and magic.  Perhaps the fortune cookie helps the reader to realize that there is merit in both of the presented ways of looking at the speaker's situation.

On the whole, this was a mighty fine poem, brutally satirical as well.

PS:  Hope my "analysis" was close to catching the "real meaning" you wanted us to find..

I look forward to reading other readings of this poem!

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

[This message has been edited by fractal007 (01-02-2003 04:53 AM).]

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