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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-10-28 03:27 AM

Thus I die
knowing this--
dig a grave
to bury heart.
Take my pupils
in pinpoint
and spear them
into voodoo spark
and draw
the ve'-ve'
with my tears
a puddle toed

remove this
from my ears
and tell me
be sound...

I wish there
were a sacrifice--
I should've
bought the other dove--
where's my pipe?
and my incense?
Burn it.
Leave the ash of love.

Cloak my head
b'neath the gauze...
tell me reasons
of what was...
above my head?
angels sang?
Thus I am dimmed
for sake of God...

I have more reverence than you!
The Father delights in his child--
he calls unto the Mother--"You..
come see, m'love--she's US exiled..."

Now it is for them--I dance.
Selling flowers in a glance

of this solo rectitude...

I am offspring.

I dance for you...

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
1 posted 2002-10-28 08:28 AM

Off to work, I'll be back.


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2002-10-28 03:02 PM

A determined and powerful piece Luscious.

I loved it.


Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
3 posted 2002-10-29 01:13 AM

Serenity~ Very touching write.
A tale of a broken heart and shattered dreams.      
Off with the sadness on with a smile.
Dance solo for a little while.

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
4 posted 2002-10-29 02:35 PM

you are beyond me

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-11-06 12:54 PM

Love is a fine gris gris, is it not?
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
6 posted 2002-11-18 12:39 PM

Beautiful writing, Serenity.  I particularily like how you've structured the stanzas to be quite vertical, and yet, you have a meter scheme that runs from line to line.  You kept the flow effective without making your device too obvious, which is interesting...

I really enjoyed reading this.  The images are perfect and correlate excellently with the poem's theme.


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

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