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LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

0 posted 2002-09-14 04:53 PM

*I've been gone for awhile, but I'm back. It's good to see everyone. Now, on the poem... I know that it's long and it's rusty... but it isn't fiction*

The ashes cover all the ground
A soft wind blows, no other sound…

A broken spirit, a broken home
My aunt, a widow left alone
My pastor, my uncle, was taken away
On that sunny summer day

I rock myself alone in the dark
Silent tears signal a broken heart
The stars outside shine right on
As if everything hasn’t turned out wrong

I cry for comfort from above
I cry for someone… I cry for love
I hear a rustle in the grass
Somehow I expected an angel to pass

He was like an angel to me
In the darkest days I thought could be
He reached down and held me tight
He said everything would be all right

The days passed by without a sound
After my uncle was put into the ground
My angel held on, ‘twas more than show
Our friendship… our love began to grow

The wind begins to move the ashes
A shape emerges as time passes…

We sat and talked for quite awhile
After all the pain, I learned to smile
I smiled, and even came close to bliss
That hazy day he stole that kiss

He worked me through that dark strife
That had followed me most of my life
He helped to heal the scars, and then
Finally… I could sing again

I raised my voice to God above
Thanking Him for my long-lost love
Sometimes he’d hold me to his heart
He said that we could never be apart…

But I felt him drifting, I felt it now!
Frantically I made some vows
I promised him all the things he asked
But I never really got the chance…

He found another to love and hold
He left me battered…
He left me alone

As the shape began to form and grow
Another heap fell to the earth below

But yet, a rustle came from beneath
A little bird, burrowing with it’s beak
She pushes her little shaded head though
Shes determined to do what she has to do

Slowly, slowly, inch my inch
She digs herself from the little trench
As she emerges, shes covered in soot
Her colors are hidden, from head to foot

A little cough, a little sneeze
Clears the airway with the greatest of ease
She flaps her wings, still weighed down
From the dust of all the anguish she found

She flutters a little, with a fall or two
But she knows the task that she must do
She finally runs, and with a mighty cry
She up! She’s flying high in the sky

Two women sit, one young, one old
The relationship is easy to behold
They sit with strength, smiling through pain
As if the world is still the same

One was betrayed by death alone
She knows where her love is laid down low
The other looks to the pew ahead and beholds
Her betrayal by love, and he new girl he holds

But yet…

She’s batting her wings with frantic care
She’s knows that she could easily fall from there
But she’s determined to stay in the air…

She sings, and this is her song

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

[This message has been edited by LoveBug (09-14-2002 04:55 PM).]

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

1 posted 2002-09-14 05:13 PM

"A little cough, a little sneeze
Clears the airway with the greatest of ease
She flaps her wings, still weighed down
From the dust of all the anguish she found"

"She flutters a little, with a fall or two
But she knows the task that she must do
She finally runs, and with a mighty cry
She up! She’s flying high in the sky"

What a beautifully flowing piece Erica ... it is so wonderful to read you again. I'm so sorry that this sorrow has touched both you and your Aunt, but you have captured your emotions in such a lovely way through these words. The change up in perspective flowed exceptionally well. Very nicely written, indeed.

I've missed you, my young friend, and what a beautiful picture! Not only is it good to read you ... it's great to see you. You've been missed, my dear.

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 2002-09-14 05:33 PM

ERICA!!!!!!

It's so nice to read you (and love the new photo!).

This poem is one of your best - it brought a tear to my eyes and then a smile and then more tears...you have really grown in your work my dear. I'm sorry for your loss - both your uncle and the 'love'...but I'm glad you found your voice again. Welcome home sweetie.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2002-09-14 09:54 PM

Erica~
It's GREAT to see you again, and especially
to read you again.
This is such a beautifully written piece, and
it really reached in and grabbed my heart.
I'm sorry you've had to experience all of this,
but I'm happy to see that you've come out 'singing'.
You and your poetry have definately grown,
and I hope to see lots more from you in the forums.
Welcome home!
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes
[This message has been edited by vlraynes (09-14-2002 09:56 PM).]

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-09-16 06:31 PM

LoveBug,
Please post more.
This was yr heart,
inch by inch,
word by word.

Mike

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

5 posted 2002-11-18 02:19 PM

Wow, fantastic writing Erica... long poetry is good only if it's kept fresh and doesn't get tedious throughout. The various shifts in this poem kept my attention focused and I didn't get bored once.

Very inspired writing, Erica... I'm glad to see you're getting better acquainted with your muse lately.

I do hope that you post more often. Yeah, as Mike said, try out Haven for a while, it's really that... a "haven" from the faster forums. Where all the best of PIP combine.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

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