navwin » Sanctuary » Poetic Haven » The Firelight (from the challenge in the Haven)
Poetic Haven
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Firelight (from the challenge in the Haven) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2002-06-05 11:32 PM





I peddled quickly over the hill
Smelled smoke in westerly breeze
And in the distance I saw the flames
Licking quietly above the frieze

Sunset seemed a false glow as
The firelight came thick and bright
Quickly I neared the cottage where
We pledged our passion’ right

Old wood burns fast, tis true
It burned as though our lover’s flame
And though the walls fell quickly
I could see them stand against my shame

© Copyright 2002 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-06-09 01:52 AM


Your writing has sparks and crackles. Thanks for the loving burns.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-11-13 11:01 PM


I would like to hear more on this...

it's a sad intro, Shar, but just the beginning.

and if I'm ordering you around tonight, smile, add a little hope in there? grin...

mid life crisis yanno.


Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
3 posted 2003-11-14 10:22 AM


well done
WildPoet
Member
since 2003-11-10
Posts 205
California
4 posted 2003-11-27 02:02 AM


I think Brad said it all!

WildPoet

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
5 posted 2003-12-07 07:21 PM


Interesting depiction of a house fire, which reminds me of the many fires this past year in Arizona around Phoenix and Tucson. One thing which puzzles me is the last line. Was the 'shame' from the 'passion' right' or from something else...say setting the fire or leaving something unattended which started it?

Irregardless of my confusion there, this was a very well written piece. Kudos!

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2003-12-07 11:03 PM


a burning. . .or, to be burned??

lots more layers in this one then even I can see. . . great work. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I am tired . . .

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Sanctuary » Poetic Haven » The Firelight (from the challenge in the Haven)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary