The Firelight (from the challenge in the Haven)

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Poetic Haven

The Firelight (from the challenge in the Haven)

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2002-06-05 11:32 PM

I peddled quickly over the hill
Smelled smoke in westerly breeze
And in the distance I saw the flames
Licking quietly above the frieze

Sunset seemed a false glow as
The firelight came thick and bright
Quickly I neared the cottage where
We pledged our passion’ right

Old wood burns fast, tis true
It burned as though our lover’s flame
And though the walls fell quickly
I could see them stand against my shame

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-06-09 01:52 AM

Your writing has sparks and crackles. Thanks for the loving burns.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-11-13 11:01 PM

I would like to hear more on this...

it's a sad intro, Shar, but just the beginning.

and if I'm ordering you around tonight, smile, add a little hope in there? grin...

mid life crisis yanno.

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

3 posted 2003-11-14 10:22 AM

well done

WildPoet
Member

since 2003-11-10

Posts 205
California

4 posted 2003-11-27 02:02 AM

I think Brad said it all!

WildPoet

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

5 posted 2003-12-07 07:21 PM

Interesting depiction of a house fire, which reminds me of the many fires this past year in Arizona around Phoenix and Tucson. One thing which puzzles me is the last line. Was the 'shame' from the 'passion' right' or from something else...say setting the fire or leaving something unattended which started it?

Irregardless of my confusion there, this was a very well written piece. Kudos!

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

6 posted 2003-12-07 11:03 PM

a burning. . .or, to be burned??

lots more layers in this one then even I can see. . . great work. . .

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I am tired . . .

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