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The Schhht of Death
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The Schhht of Death |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand 
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Writhing, feeble, as darkness is forced. Black and winged, sicks legs up and one fly down; dead. Murder-moisture poisons “pests” – turns the house from home to tomb in a schhht. It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Lynne Miura, née Chudley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
OMG! Could this be a ode to Raid? Very nice, very nice indeed! Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Lynne, i'll come right out and say that i don't know if i am getting something  ...is this about the killing of houseflies via insect spray? i liked the line about sick legs and one fly...since the word "fly" has several meanings, my imagination bordered on the suggestive...heehee and i think the "murder-moisture" is one cool phrase... |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Jp - yep, I think it was Raid my Dad was using actually. Hehe, I DON'T like fly spray. ^_^ Kaile - yes! Heh, cheeky. ^_^ I didn't think of that... wow, my mind is so innocent.. hee hee. My mum liked 'murder-moisture' too. I wanted to show how I felt about people using it, ie it's not pest control, it's murder. Thanks, you both! Luv ya'll It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold. |
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jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon |
Hmm.. not too bad.. try to invent some sort of all-purpose spray that kills both flies and annoying fly-like people.. - James |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
That was way too good -- it's obvious you wrote this long before Sharon comandeered this place for poetry races and open mics. Enjoyed. She said burn ... together. |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Phew, I'venot been here in a while, so I've missed heaps of poems and replies.. Sorry!! Thank you James and bsquirrel  -Lynne It's nice to share - kiss someone when you have a cold. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Seems everyone's already made the observations I would have felt so proud of making. Heh. I do like the poem a lot. It's got more depth to it than just an ode to raid, from what I can see... it's about how desensitized we are to something as profound as death. That we can take out a can of poison and just kill a living creature in a schhht like that... without so much as stopping to think. Turning the house into a tomb is a neat image. A bit of an exaggeration but it's still powerful in that respect. One of my favourites of yours, though I love pretty much everything you write. You've got quite the imagination... Parasite Faith is a fine invention |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Grins.. witty words great writing |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Oh my gosh LP..  Thank you! That's EXACTLY right.. I've always hated ppl's attitudes towards killing living creatures, even if they are 'just flies'. I mean, flies drive me mad (the disgusting little things lol), but I would never kill them just because they are annoying me.. We need to be more tolerant, and more aware that we are not God and don't have any right to decide whether someone/thing lives or dies. You're very sweet, thank you so much for your comments.. Aenimal - cheers, hehe.. I'm glad I made you grin.. ^_^ Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^ |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Lynne: and I am supposed to write to this? God help me . . . *shaking head* You are brilliant xxoo |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Geez Sue, don't say that! I never thought I'd hear someone say tha, hehe.. Thankyou very much.Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^ |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
come back lynne! xx |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Thanks gemjop.. hehe.. it's nice to be missed! I'm so sorry, I've been really busy at Uni and only had the night times to use the internet.. My Dad now works from home a lot of the time, so he's always using the computer at night.. I've missed so much good poetry here!!  I will still pop back in sometimes, but I think I'll not be able to find much time, in amongst assignments and my Dad's computer usage.. Grrr.. Don't forget me!! I'm not gone forever!!!! Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^ |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Well Yu-Lan, I have a final exam in seven and a half hours and I'm browsing the pages of piptalk for the first time in God knows how long... so it's not entirely impossible to balance school and the internet. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Funny poem. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This is an ingenious peice of writing, thanks for sharing. Andrew |
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