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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2002-02-23 01:19 PM



I chanced to be out and wandering,
In the shadows of the market square,
Then a noise disrupted my pondering
So crept closer to see what was there.

As I peered around the turnip stall,
I saw a young maiden in worn clogs
With a basket of burden not small,
At her heels were several yipping dogs.

She stood there straight and shameless
Small children around her danced a jig
Taunting her that her father was nameless
Sang that her pride was too big

She carried off her basket’s burden proud,
Ignoring the looks and cruel taunting
Slowly walked away from the market crowd,
I glimpsed her face of beauty haunting.

The was no other thoughts came to me,
As I followed her slowly with a limp,
I mesmerize by her great beauty,
So to tell her I would attempt.

I couldn’t keep up to ask her name,
For she never looked back toward the square
So in the shadows I leaned on my cane,
And she never knew I was there.

Gloom

[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (02-23-2002 09:58 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
1 posted 2002-02-23 01:52 PM


Gloom, this one I rather enjoyed (I seem to do that a lot), especially with the medieval atmosphere about it. Only thing I would change would be that word which the filter caught and asterisked out. If the filter caught it, it ain't permissable...neither is putting asterisks or similar in place of letters, but I think you already know that.
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2002-02-23 07:35 PM


Thanks Alicat,
This is actually a response to a poem that Poet deVine sent me,
So blame her for the style.
Although for the word, I use them so seldom that I didn’t know they got blotted out, and that word fit the context.
Oh, well
I’m far from perfect
And here at this Poetic haven I will loosen up a little,
Nothing smutty, but more on the fun side,
As much as I ever have fun,
I think I stopped having fun when I turned 40
So it’s been many years.
But now I’ve found out another thing about the workings of this place,
Makes me  marvel at the massive talent that Ron has put into Passions

Gloom

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2002-02-23 08:35 PM


This is sort of a full circle poem...I wrote MINE as a reply to one of Ali's "the Codpiece". So we are having a roundup here!

And I still can't figure out what word is filtered out - I know so FEW swear words you see!

PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
4 posted 2002-02-25 04:35 PM


This one was very, very interesting! Very different, but very well done. An enjoyable read, my friend.

Sincerely,
Titus

The One, The Only... The Titus.

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