Open Poetry #18 |
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The Sleepless Ones Lullaby |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England ![]() |
The Sleepless Ones Lullaby dedicated to Bill, Keth and Jack who are all not sleeping Go to sleep my poet friend rest your weary eyes While you sit tiredly you’re missing sleeps surprise Your bed calls out to you come lay down in me And I’ll waft you to slumber to wander dreamily Come walk in vales of dreams witness marvels sight Submit to sleeps invitation to drift in dreamers night Don’t shun sleep’s delight or stay away too long Give into dream’s desire and succumb to lullaby's song Go to sleep my poet friend lie down on your bed Lay down under your covers rest your weary head Your eyes are feeling droopy you want to go to sleep Dreamland is calling, offering promises you can keep Wander in the twilight speak with your spirit guide Take yourself to somewhere where no secrets hide Slip into sleep let it cradle you in all night long Yield to the dark there inside the lullaby’s song Go to sleep my poet friend lie down and dream on Come and wander in mist where dreams aren’t gone Sleep bids you welcome its calling you by name Come and rest in sleeper’s paradise once again Feel the pull of dreams take the road into night Roam along the byways of dreamer’s soft delight Slide into sleep let the ship of dreams move on Submit to the music of the soft lullaby’s song Marsha To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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© Copyright 2002 Marsha Grace Melody Todd - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() ![]() ![]() (giggles) Soooooooo cute, sweet friend, I love it!!! (smiles) May our all-nighters have the sweetest dreams and get plenty of sleep and dream away into Dreamland happily! (kiss on cheek) Sooooooo cute, sweet friend, you are such a delight to us all, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Marsha, thank you for sharing! ![]() ![]() May love and light alway shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Beautiful Marsha and read just like a lullaby! Perhaps if the insomniacs in here read this over a few times before bed, it would help ![]() I love this!! Yes, I really love this! ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~ |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Absolutely beautiful and sung so sweetly. A lullaby that will sooth any tired heart. **big hugs** ![]() Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
What an absolutely wonderful lullibye Marsha! Your soothing words are tempting "me" with this piece, and I vowed to do some long required reading tonight! Very much enjoyed! ![]() Best wishes, /Kit |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This is definitely a lullaby, Marsha. All you need is someone to write the music for it. I appreciate it because I am another sleepless one. I usually fall asleep okay, only to awaken at about 5 A.M. and not be able to fall back to sleep again. Maybe I will keep your lullaby by my bed. Thanks for sharing it. ![]() copyright2001 Lyra Nesius |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Marsha - This was a perfect read for this time of night, for I will be going to bed very soon. This was such a smooth and well written poem. It almost put me to sleep, like most of your writes do.lol (totally kidding) ![]() ![]() ![]() Dave |
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Larry C![]()
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Mushy, I saw the title and knew you wrote this just for me! Sleep has a much fainter call for me...so here I am enjoying you. LOL Great lullaby and I agree with Lyra on needing a tune. By the way, how does Lyra do that? |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Yawn...Stretch...Marsha ...this...is .soooo...soft ...and ...zzzzzzz Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Noah darling boy this actually started out as a verse on Bills 3am write, and sort of grew. I do know that Keth hasn't been sleeping well, Bill obviously isn't since he's still awake at 3am, and Jack?..... Jack hardly sleeps at all So to all those Sleepless ones I give you the lullaby. Thank you darling boy ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Nancy darling girl thank you as always YOU are too kind to me ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Karen darling girl YOU are always sweet to me. Thank you muchly This as I've said was written because I know Bill isn't sleeping and although his 3am writes are wonderful, we all need our sleep. Take care of you and sleep well and dream sweetly ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 [This message has been edited by Marsha (01-10-2002 12:17 PM).] |
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Moonlight Romeo![]() ![]()
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
This is very good, reminds me of the one that my Mom used to sing to me. A lullabye for grown-ups. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Dear Marsha, Round about half-way through my eyes started to close. Not a good thing, since I'm at work, but I didn't sleep well last night. So I have an excuse. Very smooth, and nice. Good one. ![]() Nan |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Marsha - a lovely lullaby for us three in the morning people.... BC |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Marsha - Another night owl - Hve you met Lorelei? |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
SweetMarsha, you're precious2all of us here... Such a lovely verse you pen4those PoetFriends who keep the stars at nite company and brighten these pages with many poems that bring us all delight... Hugs2uMyDearOne *~coco~* |
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Mon Cherie![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Marsha, nice write!!! I'll turn in soon... ![]() ![]() _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Canuckster Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285New Mexico, USA |
I echo the other comments as to the premise. Rhyme generally requires some kind of consistency to the meter. That would be my constructive suggestion would be to spend some time looking at this poem. You vary generally between 11, 12 or 13 beats to a line. So you've got a general idea of the cadence and flow. The meter doesn't necessarily need to be iambic (meaning alternating stressed and unstressed syllables) but it helps if there is a pattern more or less present so that when speaking the poem outloud there is a discernible pattern to how the stressed syllables are falling. I bet you could go through this poem, count out the beats on each ine and note how the syllables are naturally falling and do a little work that would make this good poem into an excellent poem with just a little more effort. Hope this is in keeping with the critique you've invited and keep writing. You're really quite gifted just from what I've seen here. never try to teach a pig to sing |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Kit darling girl I hope it made you close your sleepy eyes. (Wicked grin) Thank you I'm glad you like it, I was aiming for gentle ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Lyra darling girl are you not sleeping either? Try to get some decent rest YOU need it Glad you liked it did it make you feel sleepy? A nice gentle hum I think is what we're after. How about that sone they sing in Three Men And A Baby Smile ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Dave darling boy am I puting you to sleep? I'm not then I'l just have to try harder dear heart won't I. Mmmmmmm Now which lullyaby do you prefer darling boy, lets try one without any tears shall we. Hush a bye mountain I think would be suitable. wicked grin ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Larry C![]()
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Mushy Darling, You are the sleepy one...let's see if my second post earns a reply. "bump" Don't let the bed bugs bight! |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Larry darling boy thank you, of course it was written specially for you. Keth, Bill and Jack are all red herrings. Keth and Bill will of course understand, now Jack might just complain but I'm sure I can convince him that you need this more than he does. Sleepy yet darling boy? Hmmmmm then I'll have to think of something that will send you straight to sleep. ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
keth darling sister of my heart, Now go to sleep or I'll phone you up again and talk to you. I could read you a list of boring things darling girl........ or even worse read you some of my other poetry the stuff I'm not allowed to post. That'll send you straight to sleep. Good night dear heart I'll speak to you tomorrow ........... ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
MR I'm glad you liked it darling boy it was just a little play thing really Thank you muchly ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Nan darling girl well I'm sorry about that, but at least the hypnotism is working. Now just go and get your boss and speak the lullyaby and send him / her too sleep. Thank you muchly darling girl glad you came to see me. Now post a poem quick before I get Nan withdrawal smile As always Mushy ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Bill darling boy well, if it doesn't work it's back to the honey and milk. Look into my eyes YOU are getting sleepy darling boy very very sleepy. Thank you muchly darling boy and it had better work or I'll try something else. As always Mushy ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 [This message has been edited by Marsha (01-11-2002 05:18 PM).] |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Long John the trouble is I swear I work on a ifferent time than everyone else. I simply don't feel sleepy now when everyone else is asleep. or you could blame Keth, I often do, I know, why not she carries the blame for everything Anyway I'm glad you liked it. Hi Lorilie As always Mushy ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Coco thank you darling girl YOU are always a pleasure to see whatever the time. Hugs to you my sweet friend ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Florence thank you so very very much I'm pleased you liked it ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
canuckster thank you very much for the effort you've put into critique of this, I appreciate it. This is however just a little fun thing so I won't change it about too much. I will say that different poets operate on different beats and rhythms here is a little example of a different beat The Difference In Angels Have you ever-noticed just how different some people are Not a difference of location not whether they’re near or far Some people are so pompous they live far too seriously It’s as if they have forgotten how to live quiet simply They tie themselves in knots getting the latest this or that Spending oodles of money for some stupid bit of tat While others mouths are hungry they haven’t got much But I’ll tell you this my friend they have the human touch Then there are the people who act like the only ones in pain They say they are unfortunate that all it does is rain They’ll tell you they have bad luck and life is always so sad Then go on to tell you why every little thing goes bad They’ll beg for your compassion and ask you to assist But rarely will they give a thought to those tragedy has kissed They don’t look at what they have but others can and do But I’ll tell you this my friend I wouldn’t be them would you? Occasionally you’ll meet the real angels who in this place abide But you have to look closely because their miracles they hide They don’t expect trumpets or bells saying hey look at me In fact their daily miracles are performed almost surreptitiously They keep quiet about the things they do, they never say a word But listen very carefully and you’ll see that HE has heard It is these people who fill our lives with such joyous delight But I’ll tell you this my friend I want to always see their light Marsha ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Dear Marsha, That one's great. I love it. You do know people, don't you? ![]() Nan |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
To borrow from you...utterly beautiful... |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Marsha, my eyelids were getting heavy, I was getting sleepy. This was soooooooo relaxing. lovely. floria |
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