Open Poetry #18 |
Unholiness |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You yearn a shadow? Touching sacred defiles--unhallowed? Want me, serpentine, within? (whisper) want me (whisper sin..) (own me) waste me (lonely) like an orphan-- take me in... (hold me) wasted lonely? Unholiness my only sin. --re-worked from DP #2, originally titled "loving him"-- *edited my oops, took out the part out about the thighs, lol* [This message has been edited by serenity (01-06-2002 02:19 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I like this because it is bold, honest writing about what you really feel. I'm not completely there yet, but I see something just straight ahead...looks like it might be it Kathleen-- |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(giggles) Soooooooo cute, sweet friend, this is such a beautifully sensual classic! (kiss on cheek) I love it, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
holy holy holy this the whole of you bled with tears and ink running words coming spiritually from the soul of you and i, the partaker of the cup drink in the desire penned as if it were my own becoming one with it, you, the bless'ed wordsmith, wholy real, to read you is like a religious experience holy holy holy goddammit!!!! lol |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Serenity, Strong, bold and clever. Very much enjoyed |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh how I want to let myself go like this!! Great write Karen! ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~ |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Went back and read the one in dp2 before reading this one, and this version is the one I like best. There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
My oh my oh my.....hmmmmmm, I do like this, very much~! It's uniquely done~! Atov |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
serenity - m'mmmm, m'mmmm, stong, very strong word you write. Very well though, to express your thoughts... BC |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks all, especially Jamie for taking the time to make a comparison! Sorry, for all the re-posts, re-worked, but I always find myself looking over my own words, and hindsight being 20/20...I think "gawd that is trite!" So thanks for your patience, and thanks to my family for theirs as supper is late! grinning again... |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
To think I almost missed this! I like it so much I will only say: FABULOUS! ps - why did you take out the thighs? Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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