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Open Poetry #18
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The Candle, My Soul
| Open Poetry #18 |
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The Candle, My Soul |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859
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The Candle, My Soul The flame now casting shadows on the wall As it's sweet scent is wafting through the air No longer can this loneliness forestall And how much sorrow is a soul to bear For as I watch the life of flame so dim I do perceive a life that will expire And as the blackened wick now looks so grim In sorrow I await the end of fire For as the life is spent in time of years And every day that goes does not return So too the candle melts to disappear As flames devour the wick, I watch it burn. And never more shall this one candle be For life it had and only once it lives The soul that God has given us so free It flies on high to meet Him and relives. Floria © 2002 |
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| © Copyright 2002 Floria Kelderhouse - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Strbbux, A lovely well written poem. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Strbbux this is lovely and has much wisdom. I love this, it's absolutely first class writing As always Mushy    To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Floria - Great idea. Like the comparison you drew. I do have a suggestion, and here it is: The last stanza, And never more shall this one candle be For like life, it only has one chance to live But similar to our soul, it will be set free, and will fly on high to meet Him, and relive. I did notice that your meter was 10 syllables, but I don't think going to 11 on the last 3 would hurt this poem.  Either way, very good. Dave [This message has been edited by GenXer (01-06-2002 12:31 PM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
YAY!!! Yes, He will always be here for us all, as the candle of our heart will always glow with embers of His love and light, and His love will always prevail. (kiss on cheek) Soooooooo beautiful, sweet Floria, we all love you so much! God Bless You! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Floria, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
How can I tell you what this poem did for me? Well, I will try. It lifted me and made me feel a little ray of hope and light through all the dark, gloomy veils that have fallen in front of me during the past year. Thank you for this. Into the library with this one. It's already in my heart. Kathleen-- |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Beautiful. Be looking for something in the mail from me, k? I love the metaphor--(so much so I use it myself alot, grin..) |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Exquisite Floria....I love it! ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~ |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Seymour, thank you so much for reading and replying, It lifts me up and gives me more incentive. floria Marsh, kind words from you. I so appreciate your continued support, floria Dave, I never turn down critique, and although I thought this one done, I will look at it again with your suggestions. I thank you so much, Do not ever hesitate to critique my work as that is how I learn. floria Mistletoe, what can I say to you. You are the cheering gallery for the entire site and I love hearing from you . thanks Noah, floria Irish Rose, I also have had a bad year. And I have been held up by many friends including and especially on here, this site. If my poem helped you to feel good. I am so thrilled. That is what writing is about. Not pats on the back so much as making another feel good. thanks , floria Serenity, yes I see your mail and will open it shortly and than you so very much. floria Enchantress, (( hugs )) back at you. and I thank you so much. floria |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed your thoughts...James |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* life is so very fleeting.....it burns so bright and hot only to fade and flicker all too soon. You have put it incredibly well in this poem. Thank you, so much, for sharing it with me. **big hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Floria, this is good, and it likes me! Thank you! |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
James, thank you so much, floria Startime, your big hugs help me a lot. thanks, floria Sunshine thanks so very much. floria thanks all...(( hugs )) floria |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Floria I love the metaphor you presented in this beautifully written poem. A beautiful comparison, but I hope that our lives don't burn out as fast as the candle's does. Great work!  copyright2001 Lyra Nesius |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
I agree, Although they are now making candles that burn longer and longer, I actually found one that burned for 45 hours. LOL nope, really cannot compare it to a life, but ah well, just a poem. thanks madame your poems always bring a smile to my face. floria |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
yes. . . well done. . . I love the words that candles can inspire. . . the things that we can see in the flame. . . life and all of its mysteries. . . you've shown them well here. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Floria, This analogy is awesomely penned here. I love this. Thanks. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
sven, I do appreciate your reply, so much, it helps me. floria |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Larry, thank you so much. I appreciate your reply. floria |
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N orth Carolina Girl Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962NC,USA |
Floria,this was so warm feeling.BEAUTIFUL!   Juanita |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Amen! Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
N carolina girl thanks so much, floria |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Interloper, what a nice reply. floria |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Floria This was an absolutely stunning piece of writing and so much enjoyed by this reader. Take care......Sue Suetang |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Thank you sue, I am happy you read and reply to my work. floria |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
lovely writing floria... enjoyed very much..looking forward to reading more from you..~Victoria~ "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Vandana thank you so much for replying, floria |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
thank you Victoria. I appreciate your reply. floria [This message has been edited by strbbux (01-07-2002 07:24 PM).] |
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