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Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

0 posted 2002-01-01 12:12 PM

Rosy dawn, spread light
upon my bed o'er the sill!
Day breaks by your will.

.......
Written for an exercise in writing a special haiku including internal rhyme:

(dawn/upon... spread/bed... sill/will)

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2002-01-01 12:14 PM

...and very nice it is!

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

2 posted 2002-01-01 12:17 PM

Thank you, sincerely!
:)

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2002-01-01 12:19 PM

(smiles) Sooooooo gorgeous, sweet friend, your lovely words paint the sky with the beauty of the morning sunrise. (kiss on cheek) I love these internal writing haikus, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Julie, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

BloomingRose
Member Elite

since 2000-08-09

Posts 3092
Florida

4 posted 2002-01-01 12:42 PM

Lovely indeed!

Deb

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

5 posted 2002-01-01 12:44 PM

What wonderful people, here at Passions...
THANK YOU for the kind words!
:)

~Julie~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

6 posted 2002-01-01 12:45 PM

Lily B,
You did well, enjoyed.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

7 posted 2002-01-01 01:59 PM

Lily, I really like this use of internal rhyme you use. It's a form that is a lot of times neglected. Well done!

I am/Kathleen/

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

8 posted 2002-01-01 02:00 PM

I love the warmth of this poem. Excellent. **hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

9 posted 2002-01-01 02:09 PM

Thank you, both, for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed this!!
:)

~Julie~

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

10 posted 2002-01-02 02:02 PM

Gee, I'm sorry I missed your original entry to Passions. A belated welcome.

You are writing in my favorite mode ... and you are doing it rather well, indeed

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

RosePetal

Member Elite

since 2001-08-26

Posts 2985
South Florida

11 posted 2002-01-02 02:46 PM

A belated welcome from me too! This is really lovely, I also love to write in this form too : )

RP

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

12 posted 2002-01-02 04:19 PM

Thank you all so much, for the welcome and kind commentary!

I've been coming to Passions off and on for nearly 2 years, I think... but haven't visited in at least a few months. So I don't recognize a lot of the UserNames anymore. I hope to continue to post and read here, though, without so much time passing between visits. I'll look forward to "getting to know you"!

THANKS AGAIN... I sincerely appreciate all feedback!
:)

~Julie~

Robert A
Member

since 2001-10-29

Posts 174

13 posted 2002-01-03 01:44 PM

is this anything like Sauki? Which I love by the way

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

14 posted 2002-01-03 02:27 PM

very nice.....enjoyed it very much

Charisma

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

15 posted 2002-01-03 04:49 PM

Thanks, Robert and Charisma, for taking the time to read this and comment. I appreciate the feedback -- always

And, Robert.... you stumped me with your reference to "Sauki". So I had to do an internet search to find out what that was!

I found Saki (AUTHOR Hector Hugh Munro, 1870-1916) and I found Saké (the Japanese rice-beer)... and a few other variations of those letters. But I don't know what Sauki is! :) I'm always willing to learn something new and interesting... so tell me what it is? PLEASE?

Thanks again!

~Julie / "Lily"~

THE NEW IMAGE OF SAKÉ : http://www.celebrator.com/9808/eckhardtsake.html

A Bibliography for Saki (H.H. Munro) : http://www.trill-home.com/saki/bib.html

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

16 posted 2002-01-03 04:58 PM

Thanks, Robert and Charisma, for taking the time to read this and comment. I appreciate the feedback -- always

And, Robert.... you stumped me with your reference to "Sauki". So I had to do an internet search to find out what that was!

I found Saki (AUTHOR Hector Hugh Munro, 1870-1916) and I found Saké (the Japanese rice-beer)... and a few other variations of those letters. But I don't know what Sauki is! :) I'm always willing to learn something new and interesting... so tell me what it is? PLEASE?

Thanks again!

~Julie / "Lily"~

THE NEW IMAGE OF SAKÉ : http://www.celebrator.com/9808/eckhardtsake.html

A Bibliography for Saki (H.H. Munro) : http://www.trill-home.com/saki/bib.html

Lily B
Member

since 2000-03-31

Posts 91
Auburn, IN, US

17 posted 2002-01-03 05:15 PM

Also see
Haiku #3: /pip/Forum53/HTML/000037.html
Haiku #1: /pip/Forum53/HTML/000034.html

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

18 posted 2002-01-03 11:31 PM

cool..i really liked your last line.."day breaks by your will"..a fine poetic reminder..

enjoyed your three offerings..almost made me want to go and write a haiku right now...

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