I Hid Her Pictures.........by request

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Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

0 posted 2002-02-13 03:23 PM

I Hid Her Pictures

by Michael

A flower must take one last look
At one more sun before it dies
I wonder if that's how she felt
I wish that I could search her eyes

So often grief will try to win
And try to blind my eyes with tears
And now I stand here hurt again
As I have been for many years

Choke back the sobs, get on with life
Although you feel so all alone
Be strong for both your son and wife
Remember you still have a home

I often in the mirror see
Her face when gazing at my own
Because I am her son, you see
Aloud, I wish that I could moan

I miss her smile so very much
I miss her wisdom and miss her scent
I miss her guidance and her touch
I miss the way her life was spent

Deep sadness runs on little feet
They seek the darkness of my heart
And in a crowd do they all meet
So they can rip what's left apart

Confused and numb I wander on
My father gone nine years before
And now my mother, please no more
I often feel so all alone

Such loving things she'd tried to teach
That I rebelled against in youth
But now they're part of who I am
I'm able now to see their truth

I hid her pictures from my sight
So stronger could I grow with years
And find a room to lock this hurt
So I could see, without the tears

Her body turned to ashes be
I carried them with gentle hands
And cast them to the winds at sea
Then watched them fall upon the sands

Nine years before I did the same
With my poor father, bless his heart
So now they're both just sea and sand
And will forever be a part

Sometimes I sit and watch the sea
As starlight bathes me in the night
I know they're there, just out of reach
And will be with the coming light

Though years have come and years have gone
Forgetfulness they would not bring
My heart has yet to find new song
My voice forgotten how to sing

But strong I must be, this I know
These tears in prison must I keep
For if I let just one tear flow
Forever do I think I'd weep
(My mother passed away in 1990. Like my father, she was cremated and I spread her ashes at the ocean. Her pictures are still hidden and will remain so until I feel strong enough to once again look at her)

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2002-02-13 03:31 PM

"Choke back the sobs, get on with life
Although you feel so all alone "

oh you know I know this feeling, Michael, glad you posted this

It's very healing

(((hugs)))

Tennessee Angel
Senior Member

since 2000-06-03

Posts 661
Tennessee

2 posted 2002-02-13 03:56 PM

I don't know exactly what to say. This is a beautiful piece. I'll offer up a special prayer for you. God bless.

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

3 posted 2002-02-13 04:12 PM

Fortunately, I still have my mother so I can only imagine the pain.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

4 posted 2002-02-13 04:17 PM

Michael,
How sad and yet triumphant. Though you hide the picture of her face
merories stay held by grace.
Grieve Michael and move forward.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2002-02-13 04:44 PM

Michael, your very existance is a celebration of your mother's life, and a testimony of her love and continued presence in the lives of others. This is very touching, my friend.

Magicmystery
Senior Member

since 2002-02-13

Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada

6 posted 2002-02-13 04:45 PM

I cannot imagine the pain that you have been holding inside for the last 12 years, but it took me a couple of minutes just to dry my eyes enough to send you this message. You NEED to cry, and cry with your family..... even after so many years... and be reassured she sleeps peacefully now. And she still lives IN your memories. You only do her memory justice to remember her freely.

Cherish the good memories past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow.
But above all... be kind to yourself today.

rosepetals25

Member Elite

since 2000-05-31

Posts 3076
PA

7 posted 2002-02-13 07:18 PM

Michael,

I too am a loss of words. I am blessed with having both of my parents still here with me. I can't even imagine losing either one of them. Hugs to you my friend.

Tara

"My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read"
- Motley Crue, Home Sweet Home

ShadowRider
Senior Member

since 2001-07-14

Posts 1038
USA

8 posted 2002-02-13 07:24 PM

Michael - pictures are the spoon that stirs the memories,
but they also keep the past alive for us.

You have a golden heart to write of them in this treasured way,
and i wish you peace, Michael
tSR

brianbeaudry
Member

since 2001-07-20

Posts 410
Northern Ontario Canada

9 posted 2002-02-13 07:39 PM

Another powerful write Michael!!!!...you pen the pain and longing with great clarity my friend!!!

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

10 posted 2002-02-13 08:17 PM

(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Michael, this is sooooooo very heartwrenchingly beautiful, sweet friend, I know just how you feel with all my heart but I know deep down she will always guyide you with her love as He cradles her safely in His arms! (BIG HUGGGSSSSS) God Bless You, sweet friend, you have a very loving and compassionate heart, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

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