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Open Poetry #18
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2002-02-12 05:43 AM


she danced me
with her eyes
I had not heard her music
before that night
it was a quiet song
but the rhythms
moved under my feet
like fast sand

we kissed accidental
with our minds
she wiped her mouth
with her hand
and looked at her lipstick
as she ran
under the edge
of her vows


all I ever wanted
was your words
she said
I have everything else
I want
already and
there is not room
for two of anything
in my world of one

I gave her my words
they were hung there
like worn shirts on the line
in the wind they danced
for her eyes
and the wearer
remained invisible
just hands appearing
now and then
to take money

out of the pockets


©Dark

© Copyright 2002 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
1 posted 2002-02-12 06:02 AM


a lil on the dreary side,
but a very smooth flow and i love the final metaphor.
too bad she lives in a world of one.
seems the best ones always do.

it's all happening

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2002-02-12 09:17 AM


this felt so completely sad......
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2002-02-12 09:58 AM


Friend Ethan..
it is what we do
as poets
we write the words
that make the smiles
and leave the smiles there sometimes

am pleased that the words make the smile though..thanks for the read and comments


SEA, you are sweet with your sad, but it is just choosing how we bring value...some are used by the eyes as they are lovely to look upon..some are used by the ears as they are lovely to listen to..and some are used by the mouth to speak the words to sooth..

thank you for your read and comments


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2002-02-12 10:56 AM


"I gave her my words
they were hung there
like worn shirts on the line
in the wind they danced
for her eyes
and the wearer
remained invisible"

DS
I think because of the way you hang your words...just watching them blow around would be enough.


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
5 posted 2002-02-12 11:41 AM


Ms Martie, thank you for watching them in the wind..you bless me with your reviews
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