Open Poetry #18 |
![]() ![]() |
The Fruit of Your Vine |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
catalinamoon![]()
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone ![]() |
A taste of succulence grown tart a sip of much too far apart Your dryness hints of Chardonay a touch of oaken love today. Drops of Merlot upon my lips the sweetest love turned bitter kiss Inspired by thoughts of Cabernet there was no wine to make you stay. Your fruit grows heavy on the vine Oh, what I'd give to thusly dine As every draught of new Gamay becomes a hideout from my pain. Subtley, you stopped tasting fine became a jug of Gallo wine.. [This message has been edited by catalinamoon (01-03-2002 06:45 PM).] |
||
© Copyright 2002 Sandra - All Rights Reserved | |||
Interloper![]() ![]()
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Sandra, this is 1derful! Screwtop bottle of Gallo wine, indeed! Hilarious! ![]() Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
||
Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() ![]() ![]() (sigh) Soooooooo beautuful, sweet friend, your words are always so delightful and lovely to read! (kiss on cheek) May your heart quench the wine of true love forever! We all love you so mcuh, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sandra, tha k you for sharing! ![]() ![]() May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
catalinamoon - wine I like, and a toast to you. For writing this wonderful poem... BC |
||
Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Sandra Cheers this is truly divine wine. I absolutely love this. I'll bring some cheese lets have a wine and cheese do. ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
||
strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Oh my gosh,,, this hit home with me, these are my husbands choices, and the jug of gallo, I actually dropped one once and what a mess. hmmmm think I did it on purpose. lol..nice poem. floria |
||
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Subtley, you stopped tasting fine became a jug of Gallo wine.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh Sandra!! This made me smile big time...those last two lines did it! Hugs, Nancy. ~* A dream is a wish your heart makes... *~ |
||
Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
What? No Thunderbird?...very neat here, Sandra...very gentle smile |
||
rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
I love this Sandra! Gallo and yallo. For sure. May your new "vine" be of exquisite taste, body and bouquet. Wonderful write. Sincerely, Regina |
||
peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
What an excellent read.. of course.. what else would I expect!!! I love the ending, especially... Hugs, Pepper |
||
Lady Lost Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470 |
I'll drink to this!! Cheers, my friend, this is a wonderful poem.. and instead of crying (which I usually do after reading your poems!!) I am smiling ~! A happy new year to you!! :-) ~beth "I woke you up and I slit the throat of your confidence, and we laughed in the night and I felt alright..." (3EB) |
||
Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*giggling* you did it....You wrote one a poem that make me laugh out loud....A far cry from the wine of the Gods....*giggling wickedly* too bad you couldn't send this one to him. LOL BRAVO!!!! I love it. **big hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
||
Auguste![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
You last two lines made me laugh. What a perfect ending. Much enjoyed, my friend. ![]() Michael Michael Auguste~ |
||
OWG Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 155California |
so my mad-dog 20/20 would not be welcome even if I wrapped it in my best brown paper bag? (jerome, pull the benz over at that little jewerly shop....let us buy a fine vessel for my humble nector..) anyway..dug the poem...just have some fine memories with Gallo though |
||
Victoria![]()
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
loved it Sandra..and a very fine piece this is..will you share some of that wine with me? ha..hugs..stay away from owg..loves to get the women drunk haa... ~Victoria~ "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." |
||
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I absolutely loved this Sandra. Isn't it funny how sometimes wine can be so bitter!! This is into the library for keepers!! On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
||
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Sandra - I really like the consistency of your metaphor in this poem. Especially how well you characterized each trait of love-gone-sour with the proper wine. I especially like your link between merlot and cabernet, as most cabernet's use a pretty hefty percentage of merlot as the filler grape. This is a very tight poem, deceptively complex because it flows so very well. I hope others read it more than once and take time enough to fully appreciate the nuances here. The finishing lines are really great, speaking volumes on what has become of what could have been. At first, I smiled because it seemed humorous to bring in Gallo; and then it occurred to me that there is no humor in the loss of the potential for a truly great love. I'm probably analyzing your poem way too much; but, if I was teaching a class on the use of metaphors and similes, I would be asking your permission to use this excellent poem as an example of what aspiring poets should seek to achieve. I'm serious, Sandra. This is an excellent poem. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (01-06-2002 10:40 AM).] |
||
Virgo_Rains Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 54Pacific Northwest, U.S.A. |
As one who appreciates the fermented fruits of the vine..I loved your poem! Oh how like wine...upon the lips of loves sweet past to taste sour... S.D.K. |
||
Interloper![]() ![]()
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Too good not to be read by more of us. BTTT Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You know what? Thank goodness for the back-to-the-toppers...for I missed this the first time 'round... Good one, Cat! |
||
SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
This is soooo good, Catalinamoon. I like it. |
||
Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
A toast to you, Sandra... Excellent write, I especially loved the last 2 lines.... ![]() Things COULD'VE been worse though, he could have turned into one of those boxes of wine. ![]() ![]() ![]() copyright2001 Lyra Nesius |
||
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Love the last two lines! Cor |
||
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
The humor you've brought to an unhappy ending is priceless! |
||
Mysteria![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I probably am reading it incorrectly as I have had the odd excellent wine myself turn to vinager! The sad part about a love gone bad is that it happens so quickly like becoming a cheap Gallo. Sanda, you outdid yourself on this one, fine writing. ~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ |
||
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Sandra- Oh wow...this is awesome! Excellent use of metaphors to make your point in this piece..I LOVE IT! ![]() VERY well done, my friend. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |