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Open Poetry #18
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MeXiKing11
New Member
since 2002-01-26
Posts 2


0 posted 2002-01-26 05:54 PM


I witnessed murder

My life got to a point where everything
seemed like it was a walk in heaven
the day I met you... I thought you were the one.  
It was like my search was over...

You told me about the present you really wanted
I didn't have any income, but somehow I still got
you what you wanted.  In fact, I promised to even
take you to the moon.  That's how blinded I
was... or was I?

That rainy day, I had your present in my hands.  
I promised to surprise you, so I was.  That rainy
day I went to wait for you.  Someone distracted
me on the way, so I got there a minute late.  
When I was finally there.  I witnessed murder
with my own eyes.  When I saw you kiss him.  When
I saw him holding you. I thought the lightning
with the rain had stabbed my heart, at least that
is what I felt inside of me.  But no, my heart
got stabbed a million times.  My heart broke into
a million pieces...  


I couldn't believe what had happened.  So I
turned with a tear in my eye and walked away.  
Your present was shortly thrown away. Now, I hope
you are happy with him. He who was holding you
that rainy day.  
Please Post your commets about this poem!
Thank you all


So, yes I witnessed murder!! That cloudy and
rainy day, I was murdered by you! Now,  Little by
little, I am gathering my heart... and I will
keep on with out your lies.  With out you...


© Copyright 2002 MeXiKing11 - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2002-01-26 06:19 PM


MeXiKing,
welcome to passions!.
it's a good poem but I'm not sure where the poem ends and where the comments start. It seems that in the middle you ask for comments and then go back to the poem.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



MeXiKing11
New Member
since 2002-01-26
Posts 2

2 posted 2002-01-26 06:31 PM


yes you're right whoops
here it is:


I witnessed murder

My life got to a point where everything
seemed like it was a walk in heaven
the day I met you... I thought you were the one.  It was like my search was over...

You told me about the present you really wanted
I didn't have any income, but somehow I still got you what you wanted.  In fact, I promised to even take you to the moon.  That's how blinded I was... or was I?

That rainy day, I had your present in my hands.  
I promised to surprise you, so I was.  That rainy day I went to wait for you.  Someone distracted me on the way, so I got there a minute late.  

When I was finally there.  I witnessed murder with my own eyes.  When I saw you kiss him.  When I saw him holding you. I thought the lightning with the rain had stabbed my heart, at least that is what I felt inside of me.  But no, my heart got stabbed a million times.  My heart broke into a million pieces...  

I couldn't believe what had happened.  So I turned with a tear in my eye and walked away.  Your present was shortly thrown away. Now, I hope you are happy with him. He who was holding you that rainy day.  

So, yes I witnessed murder!! That cloudy and rainy day, I was murdered by you! Now,  Little by little, I am gathering my heart... and I will keep on with out your lies.  With out you...



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