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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2002-01-26 09:33 AM



All Tied Up

Today it's his birthday,
just another one, passing by.
Ribbon tied, my memories open,
wishing to celebrate
with him, for him, by him.
But he isn't here,
except in thought.

I think about a card,
the words I would have chosen,
should I do one on here,
like the one before
and the one before that,
using the poetic mystery
that rose in me, three years ago,
when I began losing all hope.

I would tell him
how much life shared with him
had meant to me.
How no mistakes, big or small,
should have led to this.
How I had hoped
to hold onto, restore
with the little faith remaining,
the loving touch
to our long union.

It is his birthday, today,
another year together, separated.
And I am all tied up
in memories, wondering,
what words shall I leave
with him, on this day.

M


"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."
(J.Garland)

© Copyright 2002 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2002-01-26 10:28 AM


wish you were here, it's sunny, almost  60 degrees and I am soon out the door.
Untie yourself, you are a Warrior Woman!
I'm trying to cheer you up, but I do sense the emotion in this, Maureen, it's just my way of trying to make you smile

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
2 posted 2002-01-26 10:29 AM


Oh I sure know this feeling. I have such a hard time on his birthday..coming in 2 weeks, too. Never know what to do. You want to say so many things, and don't know what to do. All tied up is a perfect way to express that.
Take care.
Sandra

sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
3 posted 2002-01-26 10:31 AM


Very sad and your sorrows expressed really well.Well done!
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2002-01-26 10:48 AM


Oh Kathleen, I may be trying to be that Warrior Woman, but 30 some years plus, makes it hard to remove the bonds of matrimony  and I still care for him as a person who was with me through thick and thin all my adult life. I can't ever forget the pleasant times, which were almost always ( even if  only in my mind).

I am mellowing in my fear and loss and hurt. I know we will always be friends and I want him to know that...to know that behind some of the hateful things he has said and done to me, I know it was the dislike for himself that he was letting out..I know this because after each time he has or had...he later would tell me so.

Frustration may be his life now..I want mine to be of peace and I don't ever want to feel I hurt him for no other reason than to get even...so today I will try and make this day special for him..as there is no one else who would do so.
hugsss,
Maureen


[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (01-26-2002 10:50 AM).]

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2002-01-26 11:15 AM


"wishing to celebrate
with him, for him, by him.
But he isn't here,
except in thought."

Wonderful phrasing and expression Maureen, very emotive ....

Best wishes,
/Kit

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
6 posted 2002-01-26 11:23 AM


Once love is given so strongly it will always be there and you express this well in your poem. You are a person who loves deeply and completely...and man who wins your heart will be blessed indeed for your love is neverending. **big hugs** hang in there...time does heal a little of the pain

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

7 posted 2002-01-26 12:41 PM


Maureen this touched me so very deeply. It is sad, and so well written, I do wish you well. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2002-01-26 12:41 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Maureen, this is sooooo sad but beautiful, my heart goe sout to you and I know just how you feel! (sad sigh) My heart goes out to you and his absence, and I hope you continue to cherish these memories of this love and you'll find a love that will fill you with happiness and many more years with hope and sweet memories! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, all our hearts are with you! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Maureen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shin epuon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
9 posted 2002-01-26 08:32 PM


You have shared with us some very common
feelings that many, including myself...
have felt and experienced...and you did a
very good job of expressing them...

I hope it continues to get better for you.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2002-01-27 10:26 AM


Sandra...yes all tied up, are my memories and my words
that if said would never speak the meaning clear.
If only one could say what's in the heart,
and not cover it with defensive words.
I've lost something precious to me,
twice within a years time...my heart...
and I don't wish to ever have it happen again.
Nice to see you here. *s
M

stevie...I am good at expressing sorrow,
now if only I could clear the way for love.
Thank You
*s
Maureen

Kit... thank you, some days tend to bring out
my highs, others my lows and then
there are those that confuse even me. *s


Karen...I love too deeply, although
there are those who may disagree
or may say I try to hang onto everything
and have trouble letting go...I just don't see
how one can love and unlove that easily...but
then again, I am not a man.
Thank you for understanding.
hugsss
M


Floria...I am well, will stay well,
despite feelings and emotions
that build up inside, trying their best
to undo me.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. *s
Maureen

Noah Dear,
He is not absent...just the love
has faded from his heart...Thanks
hugs
Maureen


Magnus..I can tell many on here
have gone through similar life events.
Some being on here for that reason alone,
needing to express themselves.
For better or worse, poetry has found me...
and one day, I know I will no longer
need it to sustain me.
Thank you
M


"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."
(J.Garland)

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (01-27-2002 10:29 AM).]

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