Shivering Into Forever ( Challenge to Ivy Rose's Shivering Into Forever)

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Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

0 posted 2002-01-23 11:18 PM

I am not real sure how to do the challenges, however, Ivy has allowed me to use her title for one. She is an excellent writer. This is a very true experience of mine and when I read her title, it was exactly what I was working on in my life at that time, and I still am. Here is my version of Shivering Into Forever.

Shivering Into Forever

I went into the moment all on a ray of faith
And, with the extreme winds blowing at my feet
To what I thought couldn't be colder then winter
Were those familiar faces sketched in deceit...

I surely ran through the garden that had a trail all my own
Like in slow motion I stared at blurred images there
I went in with my eyes half opened as it all came back
And, found the ground as my bed within bitter air...

I shivered into my forever world and to all I've ever known
With extreme force black and white was my view
To my left were those lines painted solid with hate
And, many stripes of madness my soul was now used to...

Then quickly the extreme winds were blowing across my mind
And, I ran from the garden barely with strength at my side
I went out with my eyes half closed leaving the memory there
And, found that ground to be the arms of the caring kind...

I couldn't take another lifetime to see what cold hands could do
I didn't quit running until freedom was at best
I envisioned their new quest had I not moved on
Shivering into forever I ran with fear of what may have been next...

But, life found myself crossing that bridge one more time
Now, the gardens had no trail to follow along
Stepping onto unknown land I couldn't stop the extreme winds
And, I was somewhere other then strong...

Face to face with the ground and those winds now at my back
Every season seemed to pass me right by
I found myself shivering into forever within scorching weather
And, the world playing deaf to my familiar cries...

At least my shivering into forever led me to my only friend
When he promised he'd never let the winds touch me again
I just knew shivering into forever was the way my life was meant to be
When dignity simply waved back at me...

Sauni @~~~>~~

The Sun Shines
Not On Us, But In Us
The River Flows Not Past,
But Through Us

[This message has been edited by Saunni (01-23-2002 11:20 PM).]

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

1 posted 2002-01-24 02:27 PM

I guess sometimes the best way to meet a challenge is just to write
from your inner self and you did just that

That last line is pure gold.

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-01-24 02:48 PM

BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, this is sooooooo wonderful, Ivy is indeed a beautiful writer, just as you always are! (kiss on cheek) Such sincerity and expression fills your words, sweet friend, may the winds cradle you in peace and may you drift into love and comfort always! We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is beautiful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Saunni, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2002-01-25 06:04 AM

uh....wow! WOW! I just don't know what else to say here! This is amazing, I'm glad that I stopped to read.

sodpossom
Senior Member

since 2001-06-15

Posts 723
N.C

4 posted 2002-01-25 11:03 AM

Very beautiful and well done!

Ivy Rose
Senior Member

since 2001-12-29

Posts 1300
MA, USA

5 posted 2002-01-26 02:03 PM

Saunni...WOW!!! This poem is exquisite. Challenge well-met. So glad you did this.

****Ivy Rose

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

6 posted 2002-01-26 02:38 PM

Sauni, this has a comforting aura of healing to it, in spite of the hint you still feel "it's your lot in life, Laleina." There is strength in this poem, and not a sense of surrendering to being the victim of life's worst experiences. Healing hugs.

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