Open Poetry #18 |
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Shivering Into Forever ( Challenge to Ivy Rose's Shivering Into Forever) |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia ![]() |
I am not real sure how to do the challenges, however, Ivy has allowed me to use her title for one. She is an excellent writer. This is a very true experience of mine and when I read her title, it was exactly what I was working on in my life at that time, and I still am. Here is my version of Shivering Into Forever. ![]() Shivering Into Forever I went into the moment all on a ray of faith And, with the extreme winds blowing at my feet To what I thought couldn't be colder then winter Were those familiar faces sketched in deceit... I surely ran through the garden that had a trail all my own Like in slow motion I stared at blurred images there I went in with my eyes half opened as it all came back And, found the ground as my bed within bitter air... I shivered into my forever world and to all I've ever known With extreme force black and white was my view To my left were those lines painted solid with hate And, many stripes of madness my soul was now used to... Then quickly the extreme winds were blowing across my mind And, I ran from the garden barely with strength at my side I went out with my eyes half closed leaving the memory there And, found that ground to be the arms of the caring kind... I couldn't take another lifetime to see what cold hands could do I didn't quit running until freedom was at best I envisioned their new quest had I not moved on Shivering into forever I ran with fear of what may have been next... But, life found myself crossing that bridge one more time Now, the gardens had no trail to follow along Stepping onto unknown land I couldn't stop the extreme winds And, I was somewhere other then strong... Face to face with the ground and those winds now at my back Every season seemed to pass me right by I found myself shivering into forever within scorching weather And, the world playing deaf to my familiar cries... At least my shivering into forever led me to my only friend When he promised he'd never let the winds touch me again I just knew shivering into forever was the way my life was meant to be When dignity simply waved back at me... Sauni @~~~>~~ The Sun Shines Not On Us, But In Us The River Flows Not Past, But Through Us [This message has been edited by Saunni (01-23-2002 11:20 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Saundra - All Rights Reserved | |||
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I guess sometimes the best way to meet a challenge is just to write from your inner self and you did just that ![]() Kathleen--(Kay) |
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Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() ![]() ![]() BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, this is sooooooo wonderful, Ivy is indeed a beautiful writer, just as you always are! (kiss on cheek) Such sincerity and expression fills your words, sweet friend, may the winds cradle you in peace and may you drift into love and comfort always! We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is beautiful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Saunni, thank you for sharing! ![]() ![]() May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
uh....wow! WOW! I just don't know what else to say here! This is amazing, I'm glad that I stopped to read. |
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sodpossom Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723N.C |
Very beautiful and well done! |
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Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
Saunni...WOW!!! This poem is exquisite. Challenge well-met. So glad you did this. ****Ivy Rose |
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Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Sauni, this has a comforting aura of healing to it, in spite of the hint you still feel "it's your lot in life, Laleina." There is strength in this poem, and not a sense of surrendering to being the victim of life's worst experiences. Healing hugs. ![]() |
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