Edge of Loneliness..... - pipTalk Forums

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Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2002-01-22 11:39 PM

Edge Of Loneliness

From the shores of past residue
I cast my spirit out to sea
my dreams are shipwrecked in sorrow
in defeaning silence of vacancy

The violent, velvet sky of stale
envelops my sails in failure's gray
the sands of time void my existence,
waves wash my footprints away

Life's compass betrays my faith
to steer me in the wrong direction
the tempest of my mind weeps
anchored in storm's dissection

A titantic of strength, no more
I sink in the salt of the dead sea,
I am a vessel without meaning
searching...drifting through debris

No message in a bottle reaching heaven
flooding my heart with tides of tears
tossed over the edge of loneliness
I drown in the ocean of wasted years

Screams shiver with the bleeding horizon
as I purge my pain in isolated grief
salvation will never be mine
even death won't bring me relief

By Melissa P. Monette

~
Re-written, re-post from Dark Passions

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2002-01-22 11:51 PM

Mellisa,
Well you put the metal to the petal on this one. Sad but well done.

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

2 posted 2002-01-22 11:58 PM

*sigh* your pain screems out of each word in this poem...to touch the heart of the reader...Magnificent. My heart goes out to you for I know the meaning of loneliness. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite

since 2000-01-10

Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

3 posted 2002-01-23 03:49 AM

Dearest Melissa; This is so beautifully written... I know this place, this shore, and it is a terrible place to be, but sometimes necessary so that when it passes and the rainbow appears, the Joy is that much sweeter..Love, Ellie

A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2002-01-23 05:48 AM

extremely well written...right to the end

Maureen

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

5 posted 2002-01-23 06:14 AM

"A titantic of strength, no more
I sink in the salt of the dead sea,
I am a vessel without meaning
searching...drifting through debris"

An excellent write Melissa! Powerfully emotive, with vivid imagery throughout. Very much enjoyed the visuals this played in my mind, much enjoyed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

6 posted 2002-01-23 08:03 AM

(big hugggssssss) Oh Melissa, this is so so sad, my heart goes out to you, for I know this feeling all too well too always! (sigh) I pray with all my heart that love will come to your heart really soon and forever bring happiness to your heart that you deserve so much! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is soooooo sad but beautiful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Melissa, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2002-01-23 09:08 AM

Melis, whether you write of heartbreak or romance..your gifts are evident...this showcases them...the imagery, the rhyme,(including internal), the cadecne and your talent of mixing metaphor & imagery to carry out your theme to poetic perfection...
and last but never least the depth of which you express the emotions.
More Excellence from your gifted pen

I'm like a broken record that you can play ...
Repeating (as if it matters) ... everything I say.

Gin Blossoms

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

8 posted 2002-01-23 10:15 AM

Melissa, I also have been to this place. How wonderful is the feeling when you get out..I hope you do soon. This is a powerful poem.

Floria
"learning, always learning."

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

9 posted 2002-01-23 03:33 PM

Melissa your words touch my heart. excellent as always.

((warm hugs))
Charisma

mauddib
Member

since 2002-01-12

Posts 119
melbourne australia

10 posted 2002-01-23 04:34 PM

Damn this ocean your mote.
Could it be you still think the world Flat?
I like your style Melissa. Your pen is a weapon in your hands.
How do you chose to use it?
In self defence
or attack?

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

11 posted 2002-01-23 07:30 PM

Oh, how wonderful this is. Using the title of the painting in the poem was perfect. I love that painting. And these words are very appropriate for it.
Sandra

Chelsea~
Member

since 2001-02-09

Posts 260
Ontario, CANADA

12 posted 2002-01-23 11:29 PM

missy,

this is just so sad,
but is expressed so
powerfully.
You always stir many
emotions in the reader
and I hope the last
line is not your
true feelings!

athena4
Senior Member

since 2000-12-10

Posts 622

13 posted 2002-01-25 07:35 PM

Melissa,
Haunting and magnificent! So beautifully written, so sadly expressed. You really know how to reach in and take the reader away....
Love, Elise

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