»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #18
»
I Wish You Were Here
| Open Poetry #18 |
|
I Wish You Were Here |
|
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
I Wish You Were Here By: Noah Eaton 1/19/02 Jewels of your crown fill your night Tiaras of flowers fill your eyes I rise up from the sand of my wasteland Reaching for the galaxies begging for your hand I wish you were here… The rain still hasn’t stopped falling I sit by the frozen pond, throwing stones upon the ice I gaze at the ripples branching across the waters Seeing the reflection of your face in my mind… I wish you were here… Phantoms hang like posters on my walls Waiting for the candlelight of your heart to reveal your art I want to hold you so badly… I want to rest close to your heart… I wish you were here… I wish you were here… I wish you were here… I wish you were here… I promise I'll be here when you come… [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (01-19-2002 09:25 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Nadia Lockheart - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Noah, I like the mood and a melody could even be worked in however... just a pointer that if you're going to have a frozen pond on one line, how can you have ripples on the second? Perhaps what you can do is show yourself in different seasons at the same pond and the reader will see the continuum of your love throughout the year.I know what you mean of course, I just think that the ice and the ripples are too close here  |
||
|
Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* such yearning fills these words..they touch the heart of your reader with ease and let them feel the desire of your wish..**big hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
||
Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
lovely Noah..i can tell your heart is overflowing with love dear..hugss... ~Victoria~ You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. |
||
|
Hypnosis Member
since 2001-12-02
Posts 325CO |
This is great Noah, hopefully soon you can create a poem titled "I'm glad you're here" Great job Noah! From your good friend Randy Meador a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living. |
||
|
RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
Awwwwwww, I know just how you feel, know that you will always be mine and I'll love you always! (kiss kiss)  I love you sweetie!Your Guinevere, Joanna |
||
|
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
liked it |
||
|
DayDreamer99 Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 72 |
aww *BIG HUGS* **I want to hold you so badly… I want to rest close to your heart…** *sigh*...i loved the poem..today is my "mourning over my ex boyfriend" day..even though we fought i still miss the way he made me feel like a princess *sigh* o well...i loved your poem...It adds to my day! lol bye! *kisses ya lightly* Tifferz ~*~*~The Day You Chose To Leave Me,It Rained Constantly Outside,In Truth I Swore The Rain To Be,Tears From Cupids Eyes"..RIP 2Pac~*~*~ |
||
|
strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Oh I wish your wish comes true Noah, and oh how I wish someone wrote like that about me. LOL. you are too sweet. floriaFloria |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'll just bet you didn't know that "wish you were here," by Pink Floyd is my theme song.. this is still one of the most simple and yet poignant pleas, I know. Hugs, sweet Noah. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I'm thinking I'm glad I am! Nice job, Noah! |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Noah, this is so plaintive.I feel this way so often. I think you will have her there with you someday. Sandra |
||
|
quietwaters Junior Member
since 2002-02-04
Posts 30delray beach, florida |
Noah... I know too well how to murder my work...until I lose sight of all intended rhythm...you were wise to let the song twist itself like that...sometimes we readers forget that a wealth of words need not be there...even between impossibilities...to recognize a lovely song has just been sang... and we only need to soar along on the highest note already there... Your heart beats out the sweetest rhythms...sing on.. |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Noah - if you keep writing like this, she has to be on the way... BC |
||
|
HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
felt the yearning and longing Noah your heart expressed all the love you will give Hugs Hope |
||
|
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Your feeling melted the frozen pond just before the stone hit, allowing the ripples ... yes? Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
||
|
N orth Carolina Girl Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962NC,USA |
Noah,so full of love.    Juanita |
||
|
ParisGrl Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610 |
Noah, This poem is beautiful. I enjoyed it very much. ~Laura~ |
||
|
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
The longing is evident! Noah, your poems are so full of passion and a strong sense of desire. I so enjoy reading your heartfelt words. |
||
|
PearlsB4Swine Member
since 2002-02-01
Posts 130where the heart finds me |
In some poems, the words leap off the page, like they are spoken. You do this type of poetry so well, Noah. Your compassion is well-displayed in this! PB4S |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I definitely felt it, Noah. Mike |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
reminds me of the song by Incubus...beautiful! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
