»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #18
»
Elizabeth
| Open Poetry #18 |
|
Elizabeth |
|
|
mauddib Member
since 2002-01-12
Posts 119melbourne australia |
Ah Elizabeth, What am I to do about you? You play on my mind like some insidious melody that I don't know the words too. But even if I could sing it, How should I begin it? With the manner of a maestro that delivers mellifluence in some kind of prelude? Then with what should I continue? Patrons pay good money for more than just a short performance, and I have already spent the change I'd use on refunds. But you've begun already! Ahead of me. Saving the execution at the exits While nervously passing hand outs with the ease of a blindfolded trapeze artist. Poised unsteadily upon apology for the musician Who caught you, Who left you, Cramped on a simple grin. The audience departs, The concorde begins. Atlast, I thought, No more weary old tunes in staccato rooms, That are filled with speachless passion, And are fashioned by experts that keep some sacred score, On how you would perform, With such a soloist ridicule. That's as familiar as puberty, And just as deliberate. |
||
| © Copyright 2002 greg connors - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
mauddib, I liked the rhythm and flow...although apart from the symphonic movement, I'm not sure I understood it. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is a lovely poem that says much but the lines were all over the place  many too long. That's really the only critique I would offer. I enjoyed it Kathleen--(Kay) |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
