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wornways
Member

since 2001-10-18

Posts 204
CA, USA

0 posted 2001-11-24 10:22 PM

moonbrush

delicate moon beams
silken sift though elder pines
flickering pallid
owl feathers dancing gentle
float through trembling canopy

[This message has been edited by wornways (edited 11-24-2001).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-11-24 10:27 PM

Beautiful!

That's what I see through my windows at night too

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2001-11-24 10:45 PM

Fantastic imagery! You know, this is so visual, I can actually see moonbeams and owl feathers.... especially those moonbeams.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2001-11-25 03:17 PM

Almost perfect...I think I see one small typographical error...or was it your intention?

wornways
Member

since 2001-10-18

Posts 204
CA, USA

4 posted 2001-11-25 04:09 PM

i'm missing it. what do you see, sunshine?

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2001-11-25 04:46 PM

I certainly agree with the imagery.  I too
can see the feathers floating through the
limbs of the trees,  the moonlight lightly
illuminating them...It also felt very soft
and peaceful.

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

6 posted 2001-11-25 08:05 PM

I know you don't like fluffy replies, but I really am truthful when I just simply go
*BIG SIGHS*

I can't think of a thing to change! The imagery of your night you use in this is some of the best I've ever read. I love the way you use your language also.

~I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!~

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

7 posted 2001-11-25 08:05 PM

Very beautiful, Erin. Soft and lovely!

Songbird
Member Elite

since 1999-12-15

Posts 2184
Missouri

8 posted 2001-11-25 08:10 PM

Sometimes the best poetry can be said in so few words.. Enjoyed very much.

wornways
Member

since 2001-10-18

Posts 204
CA, USA

9 posted 2001-11-26 01:05 AM

wowzers, it's so cool that this little thing is so enjoyed.

thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.

i'm enjoying these responses. i like that some of you see this as "soft", that's neat. the light from the moon is indeed soft, so this makes me feel as if the poem has accomplished something.

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