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Dusk Treader

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN

0 posted 2001-11-24 05:05 PM

The Shadow Stole In

Flames burn low
Vaulted Sanctum
Hung and bathed in gilt wonder
Studded iridescent
Unavailing

Peace’s keep
Smothered in nightmare
Born of sibilant whispers
Preaching demons
Imploring

Fortunes heaped
Wound in icy coils
Fang and voracious maws
Insatiable devourers
Ravening

Flame extinguished
Dark dream ravaged
Moanings dust dry cold
Vanished conscious
Despairing

Shattered steeple
Prismatic biographies
Splintered underfoot carmine
Desiccated wonders
Echoing

"A hard, cold wisom is required for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil" - Robert Heinlein

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-11-24 06:18 PM

I like this very much! Very much!!!

Kathleen
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

2 posted 2001-11-24 09:20 PM

Dark and poignant writing, my sweet one. I loved the series of solemn images, I'm glad you were able to flesh out your ideas into a poem!

*Krista Knutson*

"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind." -Gandhi

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

3 posted 2001-11-24 10:33 PM

Wow! This is ponderously dark..like some huge beast plodding towards me...I really liked it!! VERY good Abe!!!

Dusk Treader

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN

4 posted 2001-11-25 09:55 PM

Thank you all for taking the time to reply, I truly appreciate it. Solemn and ponderously dark, thanks for the encouraging adjectives

"A hard, cold wisom is required for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil" - Robert Heinlein

LadySofia
Member

since 2000-05-16

Posts 238
FL., USA

5 posted 2001-12-03 11:32 PM

I see the light in this. Definitely a poem that made me think, and I like those! Thanks for the wonderful prose.

"The smallest feline is a masterpiece."

Leonardo Da Vinci

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

6 posted 2001-12-04 12:12 PM

I love the verbs you used, it made the concepts shine.
Nice writing, Dusky.

~Allan

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