Fighting and winning, Just Plain old me...

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2001-11-18 06:06 PM

Suddenly I felt comfort....I knew I could make it.
I remember all the moments when I faltered, fell.
I skinned a knee so many times, still do even now.
Twisted an ankle, crutches for days...it mended.

I guess the hardest things to mend were my heartaches.
Some so deep within me, I thought I would never.
Never in this lifetime overcome them, forgive for them.
I lost countless battles of my mind, but eventually won the war.

I still can recall the harsh words that bit so deep into me.
The sinking feelings in my chest, the anxieties, aches.
I remember every harsh word I ever said as well.
I regretted them for so long, sorry to have said them.

My feelings controlled my heart, my mind, my physical being.
If I thought I was “Plain”...well, that was the way I was.
If I felt that I could not win, somehow I never took the step.
Too few victories and far to many losses in life’s game.

I am not Clark Gable, nor am I Arnold S or Paul N.
I am not a CEO, a top level manager, or the boss.
I am just “Plain” old ordinary me, that is all.
And I am Darn PROUD to be me, for I have won.

My fears seldom now control me,   I will not lose.
My insecurity will not stop me, I walk in these shoes.
My heart holds a lot of joy, for feelings I well express.
And Lord  I thank you for this poetry I give and bless

Amen...  And thank you all for your gracious words...

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

1 posted 2001-11-18 06:21 PM

And amen!! I can so relate to this, Magnus. We fight and fight to be who we want to be and lose sight of who we are. For that was always enough anyway. Great write!

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-11-18 06:41 PM

I second that "amen"---all we can do is try to do our best. Applause here Mag. You cheered me up a bit.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2001-11-18 06:42 PM

I think a lot of us feel or have felt this way. We should really just be ourselves and let people accept us as such. This is a very truthful write Barry. Enjoyed much.
~hugs, Nancy~ *coffee is ready!*

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2001-11-18 06:51 PM

I am plain, too, so this fits me very well. Thank you...

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

5 posted 2001-11-18 07:45 PM

*sigh* how very close to home this poem hits. Magnificent. STANDING OVATION!!! I love it.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

6 posted 2001-11-18 07:47 PM

WOW!!!Just as I comment you show up. What a handsome and compassionate looking man you are. I see so much love and wisdom in your eyes. BRAVO!! Hi Magnus.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

7 posted 2001-11-18 08:52 PM

I still can recall the harsh words that bit so deep into me.
The sinking feelings in my chest, the anxieties, aches.
I remember every harsh word I ever said as well.
I regretted them for so long, sorry to have said them.

Great write, Magnus. Much identified with.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

8 posted 2001-11-18 09:36 PM

Duncan...I think there are few of us who are
totally secure with who we are...sometimes
for a very long time we are not...acceptance
is a hard thing for many, including myself
to accomplish...thanx..

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

9 posted 2001-11-18 09:38 PM

Karen, Karen, UH OH...an echo...or am I
seeing double.. thanx bunches...and
thank you for the complement about the pic.

PS...clone is in mail...be there tomorrow..

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

10 posted 2001-11-18 09:40 PM

Sunshine...happy to relate this to you in
some ways....I try hard to remember that
beauty is not the most important attribute
of a person who can be very much alive and
attractive...Sadly, society puts such
emphasis on attractiveness....to the point of
total lunacy....YOU ARE a beautiful poetess.
That is for certain...and that means a lot.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

11 posted 2001-11-18 09:41 PM

Thanx,,,,Ahhhh..tastes good...Nancy, yes we
need to focus on who we are, not who we wish
we were....and that will help us a lot...

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

12 posted 2001-11-18 09:43 PM

Serenity...happy I could give you a smile...
Just feelings...tried to share them...we
all have so much in common....just often
don't tell anyone...need to more often..
we all do.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

13 posted 2001-11-18 09:46 PM

LW...YES....I fought inside myself for years
trying to please my father...trying to be
my younger brother....Wow...was I ever
surprised...My Dad thought (learned years and years later from him)...that HE and I
were just alike...That changed part of my
image of ME...I have found that my poetry
can be a very attractive thing to some and
can please many....That is worth much to me.

peaches73533
Senior Member

since 2001-11-04

Posts 981
OK, USA

14 posted 2001-11-19 02:01 AM

I'm glad to hear that you are happy with who you are.If only we could all be that way.I see all the joy and happiness in your eyes that you have and have to share.Great words.
Peaches

walker
Member Elite

since 2001-02-11

Posts 2240
Florida

15 posted 2001-11-19 07:38 AM

Becoming a complete person, that's a lifetime goal. And we do amazed ourself when we get to the point that we recognise that change and it all happens as we become more experienced in life. Great poem and hopefully we all relate, I do, thanks.

Carol Lina
Member

since 2001-11-18

Posts 94
USA

16 posted 2001-11-19 07:51 AM

Magnus, ok, give me a minute here....let me take another sip of coffee before I tell you how absolutely deep this poem went into my heart and soul....ok, I'm sorry, I can't find the words to tell you how much this moved me......
all I can say is please stick around and keep writing..This is the most honest, sincere,
one on one poetry I've read in many a day.

Peace to you Sir

Carolina

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

17 posted 2001-11-19 06:35 PM

Peaches, happy that you,,,and so many other
poets can relate to these words...Being happy
inside is not an easy thing to do...It requires a lot of reflecting on life things.
Coming to terms with those which have caused
us pain is a very major part of it...I
walked that path not long ago...It was
scary...but I got there...and now I am here.

Thanx.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

18 posted 2001-11-19 06:37 PM

Walker, thank you...I would lie if I said that
I have all my senses and emotions in order
and feel 100 percent comfortable with who I am.... I can say honestly that I am far
close to where I thought I should be than I
ever was several years ago...It was not an
easy journey....long..scary, needed a lot
of hugs..but I got there...

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

19 posted 2001-11-19 06:42 PM

Carol...love the name...and my first REAL
name is Barry...

I am thrilled you enjoyed this...I do believe
we all can relate strongly to it...Even
those of us who don't feel PLAIN... That
is a tough feeling...and so many cruel words
can make it even worse...learning that we
have our strong points and taking advantage
of them makes us an even better person...
Oft times better than some who would consider
us just ordinary...UNTIL they start seeing
our feelings and how we can share them...

THAT MAKES US SPECIAL PEOPLE...AND VERY GOOD
AT WHO AND WHAT WE ARE...

PoeticLicense
Junior Member

since 2001-11-18

Posts 30

20 posted 2001-11-19 06:53 PM

Sounds as though you have found that ever sought after "balance" and peace in knowing who you are. Insightful write.

PL

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

21 posted 2001-11-19 07:51 PM

Magnus...what a wonderful, possitive outpouring of strenth and honesty in this poem. Myself, I'm glad you are a PIP family member. We all get to know each other and understand more about ourselves, through poetry like this. Hugs!

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

22 posted 2001-11-19 09:38 PM

Thanx PL...we are getting there...only took
50 years to do it...but we are getting there.

Thank you...

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

23 posted 2001-11-19 09:40 PM

Martie...

you are very much welcome...Yes..I am happy
to be here..happy to share...for so much I
have experienced is very common to you and
many others...Including those behind the
scenes that just read our words and never
comment...our readers...for we are their
entertainers...

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

24 posted 2001-11-20 01:20 PM

yes, i feel all of this and more....

Just...Kathleen

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.