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Open Poetry #17
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Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

0 posted 2001-12-31 05:22 AM



under night's cover
silvery music shivers
slowly down my spine;
standing here beneath these stars
I hear your voice in my ear.

© Copyright 2001 Rebecca Reese - All Rights Reserved
C?
Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 190

1 posted 2001-12-31 10:48 AM


can't say I know why you put the last line in there...
it reads so smoothly and it has a very clear tone, I liked it so much!

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
2 posted 2001-12-31 03:18 PM


I put the last line because it completed the poem and because it is a tanka - 5 LINE POEM - haiku with two added lines. Glad you liked it tho.....
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