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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #17 » Tanka for Dan
Open Poetry #17
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Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
0 posted 2001-12-31 05:22 AM


under night's cover
silvery music shivers
slowly down my spine;
standing here beneath these stars
I hear your voice in my ear.
© Copyright 2001 Rebecca Reese - All Rights Reserved
C?
Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 190
1 posted 2001-12-31 10:48 AM

can't say I know why you put the last line in there...
it reads so smoothly and it has a very clear tone, I liked it so much!
Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
2 posted 2001-12-31 03:18 PM

I put the last line because it completed the poem and because it is a tanka - 5 LINE POEM - haiku with two added lines. Glad you liked it tho.....
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #17 » Tanka for Dan

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