Open Poetry #17 |
Tanka for Dan |
Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
under night's cover silvery music shivers slowly down my spine; standing here beneath these stars I hear your voice in my ear. |
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© Copyright 2001 Rebecca Reese - All Rights Reserved | |||
C? Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 190 |
can't say I know why you put the last line in there... it reads so smoothly and it has a very clear tone, I liked it so much! |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
I put the last line because it completed the poem and because it is a tanka - 5 LINE POEM - haiku with two added lines. Glad you liked it tho..... |
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