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Open Poetry #17
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Undone...........
| Open Poetry #17 |
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Undone........... |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you 
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 My heart screams out your name anger forces its way in commanding my soul, listen as tears rage down stubborn skin Feelings force my attention ignoring them, isn’t an option tonight the blackness of sky weighs heavy refusing me reprieve of moonlight I walk into the disenchantment the cold evening air you are no where to be found still, I feel you, know you are there breeze stirs in me, thoughts I fight mocking me, compelling my emotions to surface against my will, they purge, spill over into whispers of desperate confess rising from my knees unsure if I’ve lost……or won I find my composure and vow yet again, to never come undone ~SEA~ |
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| © Copyright 2001 S.E. A - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sigh...I HATE when that happens..t'ain't pretty. I'm blaming it on the moon tonight. Very emotive writing here, sue....HUGS. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
SEA- Oh my...such an emotional write. I felt EVERY word as I read this. Some painful emotions here, but you've penned them very well. Big hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Susan, such painful sentiments fill your words, sweet friend, I hope these aren't related to how you feel now, for we are always here for you if it is. (kiss on cheek) So sad but beautiful, sweet friend, you are an angel to us all! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Susan, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
I am creature of emotion....logic is something I am just learning to use  Of course with the full moon any pretense of logic from me went out the window. I love how you wrote this poem. It is so REAL..**hugs**Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
susan, one of your most emotional and compelling pieces by far! this was just simply beautiful and so moving...it's you my dear friend whose work is so touching and loving. (just my opinion) thank you so much for your never ending replies and wonderful comments to my work! take care! amy "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
rising from my knees unsure if I’ve lost……or won I find my composure and vow yet again, to never come undone Your whole poem really moved me, but especially that last verse. I felt the pain, the emotion, the loss, very much. Incredible write . If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
rising from my knees unsure if I’ve lost……or won I find my composure and vow yet again, to never come undone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh Sue! Now this one really grabbed me! Wonderful write. (also reminded me of a song something about...'she's come undone.') LOL ~Hugs, and a Happy New Year, Nancy~ *~ Wishing everyone a New Year filled with Peace & Love ~* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Susan--You have dipped your feelings in an inkwell of pure gold...so very well done! Hugs! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Serenity~ I hate it too, loosing control is never good for me….thank you Vicky~ thank you for that, it was painful to admit. Noah~ you are a sweetheart, thank you Startime~ you and me both, I always react with my heart first, then my mind, thank you Amy~ you are such a love…thank you, you are always so good to me. Tracey~ wow, thank you Nancy~ I don’t think I know that song…but thank you! Martie~ from you that is a high compliment and means a great deal to me thank you!! ~SEA |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
So beautifully written, Sue...that the words actually "ache". copyright2001 Lyra Nesius |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Circe this is outstanding. I feel these words, and yes I've felt like this. Thankfully I don't thbink I'll ever feel like this again. Fabulous writing darling girl utterly fabulous    Absolutely Fantastic Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace St John ch2 v1 |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Very emotional write SEA~ Liked and emapthized... |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Sea, this is very hearfelt and I can so relate to this one. I hope that you are ok and I have to tell you this poem is incredible.  Sauni @~~~>~~ |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Heart and then mind??? Is that a girl thing? NOPE...seems some of us guys do it too at times... Beautifully written Sue....Lots of guts in this poem...deep write.. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Awesome expression, Susan. I am always vowing not to be undone again..to no avail. Hope you have a wonderful New Year. Sandra |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Then, if even for the moment, you won. And like a good fighter, got back on your feet once more..A very compelling, very well written one, Susan..very gentle smile |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Sea- It is tough to remain strong and not come undone in matters of the heart. Heck, I come undone over spilt milk.lol Seriously, this was very emotional and well penned write. Dave |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Susan, emotions can be a real b sometimes. I tend to feel before I think and makes me come undone a lot. I felt every word. Dee I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
SEA sweety, great piece, and powerful emotions... At first the title fooled me, thought maybe I'd need to help you do some buttons up or something... Then knowing that all poet write in secret codes... I knew I was right after I read this line (my fav by the way)... "rising from my knees..." of course i'm probably just male and I lost my head at that point. Parker |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Feelings force my attention ignoring them, isn’t an option tonight the blackness of sky weighs heavy refusing me reprieve of moonlight I walk into the disenchantment the cold evening air you are no where to be found still, I feel you, know you are there breeze stirs in me, thoughts I fight mocking me, compelling my emotions to surface against my will, they purge, spill over into whispers of desperate confess The title caught my eye..the poem held my emotion. You nailed it, SEA. ---your cowboy |
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