Open Poetry #17 |
Vanilla Breeze |
Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Vanilla Breeze There's no fear in this moment of a lonely soul wanting to go back Very little light creeps through the large space she's left open for just him The gentle night was calling so loudly for his strong pair of hands And, so easily she allowed the darkness to pull him a little closer in... Resting upon the glass top laid a symbol of pure peace in the room And, she watched the shadows of the objects nearby dancing on the wall To the rhythm of the air filled darkness the flames moved differently each time That vanilla scented candle left no hesitation to the only good she could recall... Silently there before it she took the long way home to his face Being sure she wouldn't miss a single memory stored for safe keeping inside She noticed there in the dark not a soul remained within reach For loneliness just paved her path even more plainly to her unheard cry... But, she feared not that the only one who listens with all his heart Could hear her even though the miles had a distance all their own For somehow that vanilla breeze was going to make the night less sad And, his memory was going to replace the pouring rain she had always known... She just sat there in the state of mellow with every breath she took Like a porcelain doll she stayed flawless in her memories eye Cause in the mind you can make a moment any way you create it to be So, she just watched the two of them soar beneath the midnight sky... Her last memory of together was just before their time was up It seemed to stand as brightly as the flame burning still Pleasantly she closed her eyes because she so remembered his eyes It was the first time any breeze had ever brought along a chill... She viewed her feelings as when looking in through a mosaic window One would find the distortion of things placed there in the way No real way to explain how her heart now can fly higher then ever So, she just sat in the mist of the vanilla breeze without the words to say... If she has to love she will do it silently and especially at night She'll do it gracefully when it's just her and that candle and no soul in sight She's sure there will be more loneliness she'll take with her to her knees But, she'll always have those memories that linger within that vanilla breeze... Sauni @~~~>~~ |
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© Copyright 2001 Saundra - All Rights Reserved | |||
EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
Saunni you are very pretty..anyways, uhh.... where was I..........oh yea ok ummm, I really liked your work. |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Thank you, Eagle, for thinking I am pretty and for liking my poem Thanks for taking the time to read it. Sauni @~~~>~~ |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"Cause in the mind you can make a moment any way you create it to be" That is so true, Sauni. Happy holidays to you and the whole family! Keep writing and smiling, and resting in those sweet vanilla breezes. May the ripple of LOVE |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
nice storytelling, I enjoyed the read |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Saunni - Wow - Whatta poem! The form shook me a little at first, so I went back and read it at a different pace and everything fell into place. The story is very haunting, and sad. I like the way you developed the theme, and especially like the shift in format in the last verse to conclude the story. I can tell you worked hard on this poem, and I sincerely hope others read it, too. Great work, Saunni. BTW - Your picture is smashing, too. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (12-28-2001 07:46 AM).] |
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Virgo_Rains Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 54Pacific Northwest, U.S.A. |
Saunni, This writing is great....a pure pleasure to read...may your memories always keep VR |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
She'll do it gracefully when it's just her and that candle and no soul in sight" my favorite line but really the entire poem moved me greatly. I see such a rich expression in your words and I love reading them. Thank you for this! I am/Kathleen/ |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
I have to agree with LngJhnAg, haunting! Well done! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Oh Saunni, this is soooooo hauntingly beautiful, sweet friend, your words always create an atmosphere that brings us into the world of others and sees their memories and dreams shine! (sigh) May her memories always live on, just as hope forever shines in her soul! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Saunni, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Saunni--Beautiful, sad, emotive writing. Well done! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Absolutely beautiful....and so is the poem! Amazing how much comfort we can find in our mind and memories or fantasies....often they are even better than the real thing! You paint a beautiful picture, miss |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Very romantic, I love it. |
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