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Open Poetry #17
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The Clocks That Ticked
| Open Poetry #17 |
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The Clocks That Ticked |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state 
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Of the princes that waited for their royal crowns their fair maidens locked in cathedrals renowned the moats about those castles did dry and in from the cold came in our spy. with a clock in hand, the time was nigh. In from the chill, after a fall's gale, came in the author of many a tale; who cooked the stories for children's books who laced them all with magic hooks. so the child thought that time stood still when sick in bed, before taking his pill; when famous ravens came out from fruit pies, he fancied the sugar-plum fairies all alive. but the clock had ticked and the witching hour was picked. From the cold,the author-spy crept to his bed knowing that a child's fancy could be well fed; he carried a clock that was meant to tick time would be blocked, heroes would be picked. There was also a prince with a thorny crown his time ticked as the clock was wound; did children go to bed with fairy stories when saintly people had all the glory? |
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| © Copyright 2001 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
so the child thought that time stood still when sick in bed, before taking his pill; when famous ravens came out from fruit pies, he fancied the sugar-plum fairies all alive. but the clock had ticked and the witching hour was picked. From the cold,the author-spy crept to his bed knowing that a child's fancy could be well fed; he carried a clock that was meant to tick time would be blocked, heroes would be picked. ======================================= this is a clever write...wonderful use of metaphor and analogies of time and nursery rhymes to carry your theme out...and your rhyme's cadence made this a treat to read aloud. creative cool poem....well done poet sir. jm You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost in everything I do. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Thank you Janet Marie for your critique. |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Martin - It did seem like time stood still when you read fairy tale stories as a child. The imagination would just run wild. Excellent write my friend. Dave |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
hmmmmm.. this is quite a trip. Fantastical |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
somewhat into fantasy writes too, Eagle |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I love the fantasy in this one, Martin. There was also a prince with a thorny crown his time ticked as the clock was wound; did children go to bed with fairy stories when saintly people had all the glory especially this verse........ Very clever and well written!  copyright2001 Lyra Nesius |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
actually ists a reposting from another site but because of the reference you picked, I thought it appropriate.  |
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