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Open Poetry #17
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Diadems (revised)
| Open Poetry #17 |
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Diadems (revised) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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my heart is angst, ridden -- a home for juvenile delinquent dressed in stolen moments of the past times spent not so long while back oh! then I wore a crown of love ah! that L word again wondering if there is a copyright and a time-constraint for using that word and maybe that's why the crown was lost in those stolen moments yesterday is caught up in an image of a rose, that once was painted - coloured on sacred petals with sliding drops of dew ah! a fool I've been to live those dreams where I was king and ... now I begin to understand the heart of the matter when the nucleus pulled more than it should have - and in an uncontrollable fission, a chain reaction, that ended when a bomb dropped causing an explosion on the stem of the red flower ahhhhh! the colour was of blood covered by the drops of sad foggy eyes held by thorns and I was wearing that crown ... (of sharp silence) what a fool, I've been to be misled by sweet joy like saccharine instead of sugar timelessness seems to be built upon that time machine where the only step one can take is backwards and relive the pain, but change nothing "oh boy, there you have your share now get back to your corner and count till five-hundred million before asking for another bite at this cake" and I think I should be feeling satisfied for now... because if I live long enough, there is still hope after all, all that I've to do is count till five-hundred million to wear another diadem but, there is always hope ........... I had first posted this in Teen#5... and with the help of great comments from Allan... I revised the poem... thanks for coming by... |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Sudhir, you are the crown jewel when you write like this. **HuGS** Keth. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
outstanding poetry, Sudhir, and I mean that! Kathleen (Kay) |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
This is wonderful, the imagery is unique. I love the way your angst pours forth, like the emptying of a fine glass of wine, yet hopeful for a refill. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sudhir, this is wonderful writing (and Allan is a gem, is he not?) I love the world as glimpsed through your eyes! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
thank you all very much, most sincerely... Regards to all, sudhir |
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Glenn Logan Member
since 2001-10-10
Posts 111Virginia |
Quite a few interesting concepts here. I hope you can resist the pressures to make your verse conform with the popular trite standards of rhyme and meter, and can continue to develop your own voice. Best wishes, Glenn Logan |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
I enjoyed the concept implied. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thanks a lot, my friends... Regards, Sudhir |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
enjoyed this thoroughly sir  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thanks a lot, my friend Regards, Sudhir |
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