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Carol Luna
Member

since 2001-12-06

Posts 55

0 posted 2001-12-18 07:30 PM

it's been months
months and why do i feel guilty?
no being thrown to the floor
no defending myself
no swollen cheek
just peace and quiet.

why should i feel guilty?
some misguided loyalty?
it's been months of
discovering, that I don't have
to raise my arm to cover my face
no one is going to hit me...
not now.
and maybe I can smile again,
even have my picture taken,
again.

months of finding out that
there is still some kind of sanity
left in me, that it is not me
who is the one with the problem.
i still have a heart full of love.
Somehow it still beats with love.

and why has it taken this long
to write about it?
would you want anyone to know?

Carol Luna
~give me peace, no matter what the cost~

Hypnosis
Member

since 2001-12-02

Posts 325
CO

1 posted 2001-12-18 07:33 PM

You should feel very glad to not be a part of something like that anymore. I hope your life returns to love and prosperity. Good write.

Randy Meador

a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living.

Rogue24
Member

since 2001-12-01

Posts 111
Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2001-12-18 07:39 PM

carol: I was lost in thought the first time I read this as the words brought back painful parts of my past, reading it a second time I realized you are a very strong person to write about such an experience. I kept the abuse from my familys hands hidden away thinking if I didnt think about it the pain would cease, only recently have I realized what talking about it can do for the soul. Thank you for sharing, through writes like these it makes people like me feel not so alone. HUGS

Hoping one day VERY soon you will take that picture and show us your beautiful smile.

Ter.

Alone in the dark, through my thoughts comfort I do seek, through my words I find peace.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

3 posted 2001-12-18 10:56 PM

Carol...Courage of the highest order is
what you have...I am proud to say that...
You are a brave woman...Many never get to
this level of recovery.....Keep writing..

arthur
Senior Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 678
england

4 posted 2001-12-19 11:23 AM

there is no reality
we either build our own
or accept one that we we are given by some one else( and the world we interact with).
Moving from a given reality to your own is a time of stress and slow adjustment
That is what your prose says .
Stick at it
Love
arthur

Carol Luna
Member

since 2001-12-06

Posts 55

5 posted 2001-12-19 11:31 AM

no, no courage, really I'm a coward inside I don't want anyone to know so I write...
thank you all for your kindness.

Carol Luna
~give me peace, no matter what the cost~

Soleil Noir
Senior Member

since 2001-12-19

Posts 688
USA

6 posted 2001-12-19 12:25 PM

It is very hard to
pick at the wounds
that have held us
together thus far...

I commend you and your
spirit.

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

7 posted 2001-12-19 12:49 PM

if this a reflective piece on your life, I am deeply troubled and saddened for you. Much sorrow in these words.

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