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Open Poetry #17
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Spend the Whole Night, Please
| Open Poetry #17 |
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Spend the Whole Night, Please |
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Son Netier Member
since 2001-12-11
Posts 116The Garden State |
Just smile a while as we walk hand in hand, From pine to see the blue ocean breaking, I will whisper the words there in the sand, To forge the bond that is so worth making. But you hush me with a finger to lips, To stop my heart from the flowing in speech, In surf so cold your hand so warm now slips In play you run away beyond my reach. Back to the pine and humble brick of home, We share moments before fire burning, Sleeping in arms yet to wake all alone, Just another bit of you I’m yearning. Bit you had to leave me to go elsewhere, Leaving behind a ribbon from your hair |
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| © Copyright 2001 Bill Shivers - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Who cares about the spelling are you kidding, this is the most beautiful thing I've read in a long time. ......please write more.... Kathleen (Kay) |
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arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
thank you for your poem It is nice to see some one working within a structure the scenes are well drawn and create the picture you seek it was a pleasure to read it puzzled by the first word of the penultimate line arthur |
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arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
yes irish rose is right I had not noticed it was your first post so firstly Welcome . sorry to nit pick I look forward to you sharing more of your work with us arthur |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions...Please check your E-mail for a special Greeting! Karilea |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Welcome to Passions in Poetry Son, (I always wanted to say that, but I have daughters - heh). You wrote this poem well, and it touches a longing in me, too, for the beach and sand, and loving warmth. The melancholy of waking alone is really the pits, though! I feel for you. Great writing here. Just a word of caution regarding the forums. There are noble people here who are selfless and giving and absolutely trustowrthy. I am one of those people. There are others who are evil...like that scalawag Balladeer. No matter what he tells you about me, and no matter how many others agree with him, don't trust him. Trust me! lol I think you will find the forums a place where you will make many friends, and receive a lot of support and encouragement. Balladeer is one of those people.(.erk... 'Deer will think I'm going soft). The women of passions are incredible people, beautiful poets, and wonderfuly supportive of their friends and fellow poets. The men are OK (except for me, who has many of the qualities of which I spoke about the women.) Welcome, Son. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 12-11-2001).] |
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Son Netier Member
since 2001-12-11
Posts 116The Garden State |
Ms. Rose, May I call you Kay? I hope to write more, in what feeble skills I can muster to show the emotions I hold, or hope to hold. With such a warm response I feel welcomed indeed. Arthur, Two responses for one little poem, Thank you, Thank you, I’m afraid it’s about the only structure I know to put a poem within. Hopefully I can learn another or two, Which is why I came here to post, to see the many fine examples of the many poets. Sunshine, Something special? You are a kind bunch here I hear, and such proves it. LngJhnAg, A pirate? An Interesting warning, nay greeting, but I will make my own impressions. If right or wrong they’ll be from what I see from their own words, not by what other say. So far even you seem to possess a certain beauty. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 BRAVO!!! OH MY GOSH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WAY TO DEBUT WITH YOUR LOVING HEART!!! (smiles) You are soooooooo romantic, sweet Son, this is marvelous! (smiles) Beautiful! Love fills ever yowrd you write, I LOVE IT!!! (big hugggssssss) Welcome to Passions, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! (sigh) We all love you, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Son, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Son - Already you possess a trait I appreciate - you follow up on other people's posts, which is courteous and considerate. Please, however, be careful of commenting about beauty and me in the same sentence. Lucie (the lil vixen) has sunk to calling me LongJane instead of Long John, just because I wrote some love poems a while back. And she implicated my good friend Balladeer in that, too! Now I'm going back to kicking kitties just to save my reputation. Incidently, feel free to jump in with your own light heartedness if the spirit moves you. I don't mind the good natured repartee, and can take it when friends cut loose. But, watch out! Revenge is sweet - lol. |
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Son Netier Member
since 2001-12-11
Posts 116The Garden State |
Mr. Eaton, Noah if I may, Your warm and sweet response at my little poem makes me feel welcomed Indeed. Mr. Ag, or should the be Aarrrggg! I don’t mine a bit of light hearted fun, but as for kicking kitties, I must protest. Long Jane? Shirley you must have done something to provoke this. When I get an opertunity I will explore the sorted relationship you mentioned. But I was taught to respect my elders, so I’ll reframe from judgement till I know more about you old timers. |
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N orth Carolina Girl Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962NC,USA |
Son Netier,There is not a whole lot more that I can say.I agree with everyone else this was beautiful    Juanita  [This message has been edited by N orth Carolina Girl (edited 12-11-2001).] |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
Hi, Welcome to poetry land! Your poem is very romantic! I hope you will love it around here and grow to call it your second home.  Sincerely, RosePetal |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Back to the pine and humble brick of home, We share moments before fire burning, Sleeping in arms yet to wake all alone, Just another bit of you I’m yearning. Bit you had to leave me to go elsewhere, Leaving behind a ribbon from your hair ======================================= This is lovely...in cadence, imagery and emotional express... love the closing couplet. Welcome to Poetry Land...looks like you know your way around here already and can hold your own. Nice to meet you!! jm Its not like you to say sorry, |
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Son Netier Member
since 2001-12-11
Posts 116The Garden State |
Juanita, What nice little animations, and I must restate how nice it is to be so warmly welcomed RosePedal, I hope to stay, but as for a second home, I am still deep in debt from the first one. How about just a frequent house guest? Janet, I was told the final couplet is very important, so I hoped to make a good one. But I might need some guidance to find my way through so many people. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Excellent Sonnet...very well written...I liked this... |
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The Rusty Knight Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414Texas |
Great first post. It would be great if it was yor 1000th post. Welcome to Passions. I know you will make a lot of friends here. Dan Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I had to come back and read this, something about it just melts my heart. Oh, yes, you may call me Kay, few do, but it's my nickname. There's nothing wrong with your style of poetry at all, not one bit. I hope you have more to share. Kathleen (Kay) |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
A romantic sonnet with a sad ending. I love sonnets and romance so this poem works very well for me. BRAVO!!! In other words. I love it. **hugs**Welcome to Passions. You will find the poets here are not only amazingly talented but very loving too. Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I must tell you there's a lot of tongue in cheek here  it is a wonderful place, we have pirates and deers and beautiful women! I'm teasing, I don't do that often, but I am teasing! So, please enjoy yourself! Kathleen (Kay) |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
 Wonderfully Romantic First Post! You are surely to make the ladies of Passions swoon! (me being one of the first...*sigh*) I look forward to further postings from you! ~Hugs, Nancy Lee~ "A dream is a wish your heart makes..." |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
What a beautiful first post. I could just picture the writer holding on to that ribbon after she’s gone. A big welcome to Passions and I hope to see more of your work here. If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"But you hush me with a finger to lips, To stop my heart from the flowing in speech," I really like this line. Welcome to Passions, where your beating heart may speak freely. |
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Son Netier Member
since 2001-12-11
Posts 116The Garden State |
Mangus, Rusty Knight, Kay with the Red Hair(Agin), Startime, Enchantress, Tracy, Midnightsun, To all you, my thanks for such a warm welcome |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I'm bringing your first post back to say Welcome to Passions...Your poem touches the fragile heart of the matter. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hope she makes it back for that ribbon...I still have a hair braid she left behind if she wants to come back to get it...James |
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