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Open Poetry #17
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The Secret Dream
| Open Poetry #17 |
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The Secret Dream |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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The Secret Dream Come hither to my secret place, a land of sleeping dreams this hazy, lazy, nether-world of childhood's lively schemes, a land of daily conquests, where parables come true, come and jubilee with me, this dream is for we two. What is it now that you wish you would want to be a maiden mostly beautiful, oh! Share your fantasies! Shhh now and I will tell my most beloved of dreams it is when I'm dancing, dancing! For then I’m not as I seem. Now there I am in an age where beauty is just showing slender and most nimble, soft in shimmer, glowing ethereal hues glisten, I am rainbow's lovely friend airily gossamer moves as I shift and bend, my arms raise high to begin leisurely slow swirls as diaphanous silk skirts my limbs with gentle rise and curl arms lift in my reverie, to the music’s pitch I sway; in this fashion, I dance-sleep dark’s quiet away. Bending, moving, swaying, I'm a ballerina's quest for I feel all the strides, I float among the rest, a dip, a sway, skirts drift with this dream's gentle wind never tiring, I live for the dance, and then I live again through the dark mist’s shadows comes the loving man he'll dance with me, gliding, softly guiding with his hand eternity brings this dance, we are one on dream-filled winds never tiring, we live for the dance, and then we dance again among the mystic colors, this rainbow hue of dream amid all of the musical tones its fading soon begins slowly skirts, then my feet, come to a faltering stop music fades to slow then gone, my arms lower and drop. This part of the dream is the leaving time, I shyly look behind where the silver slippers were, and my rainbow dress so fine, still a little sadness in my old smile lingers on, for night will soon come again, for The Wheelchair Song ~*~ 9 September 1999 revised 9 December 2001 ©KRJ |
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| © Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  YAY!!! May you slip on your silver slippers and dance over the rainbow in a dance of love forever! (sigh) This is sooooooo beautiful, sweet Karilea, your beautiful voice always croons sunshine and love in your verse! (smiles) You are our poetic Ballerina! (sigh) We all love you so much, sweet Karilea! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now you went and did it - you made me shed a tear. I had to read that today of all days, but it was simply beautiful, and a song sung by many I am sure. What a gift you have my friend. ~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~ [This message has been edited by Mysteria (edited 12-09-2001).] |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh this is lovely, and was makng me want to dance and twirl happily alongside. Then the end..reminded me of my Grandmother, who used to be such a dancer, she was a bg hit at all the clubs, a hot little flapper, she was. Now she is in her wheelchair, living in a nursing home. Sad, the way time steals so mny things from us. Sandra |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
~Sigh~....gosh...this is so beautiful and deeply touching. I can almost hear the music of that dance playing within me......and fading sadly... Thank you ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
This is beautiful! A toast to your lovely dance. |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Just perfect. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
This is fantastic, Sunshine... I have to say that, in all honesty, this must be the best poem that I have read of yours, hands down. From start to finish, I found this poem so touching and magical... it has a feeling of fantasy about it that makes me picture the entire story in my mind's eye. The way you began the poem was absolutely flawless... the first stanza just set the scene for me, made me want to read the rest. Your use of internal rhyme in this poem is spectacular, and really helps that magical tone about the poem shine. The official rhyme scheme was simple enough, yes, but it was everything it had to be. If it were more complex (interlocking, for example) it would probably have taken away from the tone of the poem. Excellent choice of formatting. Your vocabulary in this poem is very good as well... some of the words you used (like diaphanous, ethereal, reverie, gossamer) complimented the theme of the poem very nicely. I don't have anything bad to say about this poem, Sunshine. I'm adding it to my personal library for further reference, when I'm feeling uninspired. Thank you for this.  ~Allan "I know it's nice to be known - It caresses your ego - but the society cost is terrible." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
*hitting the library button* |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Karilea, this is an incredible piece. Dances down the page joyfully! ~hugs, Nancy~ "A dream is a wish your heart makes..." |
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N orth Carolina Girl Senior Member
since 2001-12-04
Posts 962NC,USA |
Sunshine,absolutely wonderful!  Juanita |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This poem has a magical feel to it, Sunshine. I love the imagery and the movement in it.  copyright2001 Lyra Nesius |
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Siofra
since 2000-09-28
Posts 551State of Suspended Passion |
May I just say that this is awesome? I love where it takes me! I am many. |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
This is beautiful Sunshine and very touching. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I love it and with that I say goodnight and thank you for a wonderful poem to end my evening with! Kathleen (Kay) |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
May I have the next dance?  |
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JoMason Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 57 |
Sunshine, I was dancing and glittering with you right to the end. My the song and slippers play on and on my friend. Jo Mason 12/10/01 |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea--So tender is this thoughtful poem of life and memory. Loved it! |
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