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Open Poetry #17
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Auguste
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By the sea

0 posted 2001-12-08 02:06 PM


Dog Farts

by Michael


What did you feed your dog today
that makes him so disgusting?
He follows me where 'ere I go.
Right now, he's too damned trusting.

His dog farts are much worse than men's.
Please try Beano, it might work.
Come get your dog, before I do,
'cause I'll feel like such a jerk.

You should've bought a tiny dog.
German Shepherds are too loud.
Whenever he lets one go,
it really draws an angry crowd.

Their suspicious eyes look my way
and I tell them it's not me.
Come get your dog and do it fast,
or he'll soon be history.


Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.  

© Copyright 2001 Michael Auguste - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2001-12-08 02:10 PM




(giggles) Poor German shepherds! (giggles) This is soooo cute, sweet Michael, I love it! (giggles) Oh my gosh, your humor always kills me, I love it!!! (big hugggsssss) BRAVO!!! I LOVE IT!!! You have suhc a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

RosePetal
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South Florida
2 posted 2001-12-08 02:42 PM


hehehe, I know what you mean! I have a golden retriever and when she lets one out it's a killer! Cute Write!

RP

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2001-12-08 02:44 PM


THIS---my friend, I shall save for another friend...who has a teeny tiny dachound, that walks softly and leaves a HUGE stench...he calls the dog "buddy"---I call him the "green fog dog"--ROFL...Thanks for the smiles... HUGS
sodpossom
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since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
4 posted 2001-12-08 02:45 PM


Very humorous and disgusting!Enjoyed it!

Stevie

"In all things tried,you did the best you could do"

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-12-08 02:50 PM


Michael - I printed this to give to my son who has a Jack Rusell, who has the most disguisting breath and behind I have ever come across.  This was adorable!

~*~  Carpe' Diem  ~*~


2dalimit
Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
6 posted 2001-12-08 03:18 PM


Thanks for the smile. This is a subject rarely addressed. It was a blast.

Melton

EagleScorpion
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since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
7 posted 2001-12-08 03:31 PM


aww man.. dog farts are the worst
walker
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since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
8 posted 2001-12-08 03:39 PM


I have a chihuahua, for him it's teneweene ones, so I'm sure they go unnoticed. Cute poem
amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
9 posted 2001-12-08 04:04 PM


Oh man!!  Can we say...issues?
I have got to e-mail this to my mom!!

rosepetals25
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PA
10 posted 2001-12-08 04:31 PM


Michael,

  LOL oh my..   It's good to see your humor shine   Muchly enjoyed..and giggled at  

Hugs,
Tara

"My heart is like an open book, for the whole world to read"
     - Motley Crue, Home Sweet Home

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
11 posted 2001-12-08 04:35 PM


Thanks for the great laugh, Michael.
Unfortunately, farts are a fact of life.
There was an article in our local paper, last night about new inventions...and one of them was actually...believe it or not....
a fart machine!  Perhaps you could buy one and plant it under your friend's chair to pay him back for the dog following you around.

copyright2001 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Martie
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California
12 posted 2001-12-09 01:23 AM


Michael, Precious is right here..I know she couldn't have been visiting you...could she?
Midnitesun
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Gaia
13 posted 2001-12-09 01:29 AM


ROTFLMAO. My dog is a little Jack Russell, famous for his SBD's. We thought about a machine, or perhaps a new 'heating system' for the house, but chose a dietary change. No more hot dogs for Skippy. No more SBD's.
rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
14 posted 2001-12-09 11:42 AM


Very Funny Michael! Rosie pouts after she poots! She can't stand herself LOL! You are too funny.

Sincerely,
Regina

Larry C
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United States
15 posted 2001-12-09 12:49 PM


Michael,
ROTFLMAO Mine was a cat! It's the worst...

Auguste
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By the sea
16 posted 2001-12-09 01:16 PM


Noah,
Thank you!  You always say the nicest things.  

RosePetal,
Thank, glad you enjoyed it.  

Karen,
LMAO at "green fog dog"    Thanks for liking!

sodpossom,
Hey, what can I say?  I was bored.    Thanks!

Sharon,
Thanks for the "adorable" and I hope your son likes it.  

Melton,
Thanks for giving me a smile in return by reading my poem.  

EagleScorpion,
I hear horse farts might have them beat though.    Thanks

walker,
My son is wanting a chihuahua.     Thanks!

amusemi,
Your poor mom.  Send her a "quality letter" LOL!    Thanks!

Tara,
Thanks for the "giggle"    and for reading.

Madame Chipmunk,
Kinda makes me wonder if all the great inventions have already been invented. LOL!     Thank you!

Martie,
Not Precious...UNprecious, remember? *wink* thanks, silly!  

Kacy,
Smart move and thanks, my friend  

Regina,
Yeah, well you might consider a name change. LOL!   Thanks!

Larry C
Hey, I must have your cat then, because Slippie is just awful to be around. LOL   Thanks!

Everyone,
Thanks for enjoying my disgusting poem.  

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.  

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
17 posted 2001-12-09 04:45 PM


You want my two dogs for a while???

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Want to use the pics on my website? Just let me know. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace  

[This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (edited 12-09-2001).]

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