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Open Poetry #17
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What Might Transpire when you Believe
| Open Poetry #17 |
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What Might Transpire when you Believe |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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What Might Transpire when you Believe he spoke of having not one feeling nothing left him open to reeling nothing that he found appealing until he heard her voice singing nothing left him open to reeling nothing that he found appealing until he heard her voice, singing sudden pure joy she was bringing nothing that he found appealing until he heard her voice, singing sudden pure joy she was bringing emphatically, sadness was leaving when he heard her voice, singing sudden pure joy to him bringing emphatically, sadness began leaving he wondered at the loss of grieving sudden pure joy she was bringing emphatically, sadness began leaving he pondered at the loss of grieving, and began to reason with believing Emphatically, sadness was leaving No longer pondering thoughts of grieving Instead he welcomed all of the believing Knowing she would never be leaving And he loved her. 7 December 2000 revised 6 December 2001 |
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| © Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
WOW I almost knew that 19000 would be special... and it is ... wonderful poetry from one of my very favourite, here at passions... Regards to you, Sudhir [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 12-06-2001).] |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
karilea - This is a very interesting form. I read it twice and I think I get the meaning now. Thanks for laying it out so well. Very tricky writing here, as each line must be consistent from verse to verse. You are great. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
YOU will understand the capitols  ...........* * * * * * * * * I'M YELLING AGAIN So teachers pet...wanna tell us wanna-be- poets what the name of that poetic form is? AND................ CONGRATS ON 19,000   Sprayed across my heart and hers danced butterflies in the wild. This angel, this woman, who loves me with the innocence of a child. DeVante' [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 12-06-2001).] |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Believing holds such power dear poetess.......thank YOU for this one. On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I'm unfamiliar with this poetic form.... perhaps she invented it? In any case, Sunshine... it's a very nice format you chose. I felt that the images were concrete and wonderful, and the way you reworded some of the lines in order to make them make sense, but still kept them basically the same, was magnificent. The story... it's vivid and well told because so much of it is reiterated. Very easily, the reader comprehends the images and visualizes them. I think this is some very good poetry, Sunshine. Thank you for sharing it with us.  ~Allan "I know it's nice to be known - It caresses your ego - but the society cost is terrible." |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
this one had the most beautiful rippling effect as a coin tossed into a wishing well. Soothing more and more with each ripple. So glad you are at 19,000. That means you'll be here for many more. Sincerely, Regina |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I find this form very interesting, it works well here. I need to lear more styles ,I think. Congrats on this landmark number WOW! Loved every one of them, too! Sandra |
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OWG Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 155California |
almost poeish, without the punchline..the style...and the topic, primo presenting of the most powerful of all emotions...believing is the root of all good. dug it lady |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Karilea- Loving this one very much. Wonderfully done, my friend. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*WOW*......and once again *WOW* this was Gorgeous done Karilea...truly an amazing gem......and before I forget....  Congrats with your 19000 (((hugs))) Charisma ~*Theresia~* |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Karilea...Love this one and the style! Congrats on the 19,000!! WOW! ~Hugs, Nancy~ "A dream is a wish your heart makes..." |
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amigo Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 520the earth school |
 Congratulations Karilea, WOW....this is neat...loved the writing & the thinking behind it...thank you for sharing...luv & hugs, amigo |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Karilea....if my books are correct....this is considered a pantoum...which is Malayan in origin...came into English Language form through France...Four steps forward and two back... Difficult...but you make it look so simple...enjoyed.. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that -ing! Fantastic form you have, Sunshine! 19,000! What an accomplishment! You are terrific, not to mention prolific! |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
I agree with everybody else and couldn't say it better. You captured the way that loves just creeps up when you're not looking. Apeases the hopeful romantic side..it does. |
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