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Open Poetry #17
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surroundings (a concrete poem)
| Open Poetry #17 |
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surroundings (a concrete poem) |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA 
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whisperwhisperwhisperwhispercheatwhispers whisperwhisperliarwhisperwhisperwhipserswh whisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisper whisperwhisperwhisperphonywhisperwhisper whisperwhisperwhisperfriendwhisperwhisper whisperwhisperwhicareSvencarewhisperwhis whisperwhisperwhisperfriendwhisperwhisper whisperlowlifewhisperwhisperwhisperwhisp whisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhisper whisperwhisperwhisperwhisperwhispersnake whisperwhipserfakewhisperwhisperwhisperw -------------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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| © Copyright 2001 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Sven?????? Very concrete...no other imagery needed to get this message across. I am sending you a big St.Bernard with some fine wine and warm hugs, and my favorite demolition crew to remove all that old concrete. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I don't understand. |
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EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
aha.. friend and care lie in there, italicized, and it leads me to believe that, yes, phony and fake we all are, but there they are! "Friend" and "Care" just slapped right in there, and the bold letters are the darker side of our nature, while the words of hope just chill there, pointing in a different direction than the rest. |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
I didn't notice the "friend" and "care" in there. Glad Eagle pointed that out. Interesting Sven. When I read only the whispers, and the bold words, it made me think of how people gossip. Now I've read Eagles reply, and I think he hit the nail on the head If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) I don't quite understand this either, but I love this new style of yours! (smiles) It seems to me like secret messages expressed through self-contemplation almost! (sigh) I always love your wonderful words, sweet friend! (big huggssssss) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sven, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Well, I think your point comes across well enough with this. The friend part is definetely truth...the rest is all a matter of people who really don't see you.  Let them to blindness then roam, eh? I know..easier said m'friend.  Your storm of assumption feeds anger I am calm enough to hold inside. Don't pretend to know me if you've never put stretched out your heart with since |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Do we take the whispers for gospel, or do we read deeper, to see that truth surrounds and begs for brighter skies  one of the best written poems I've read in many years |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
My friend,I don't understand either but enjoyed |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
I did notice the "friend" and "care" inside. But I did not think of gossip the first time I read this. Well, yes, gossip, but I was thinking eavesdropping. You know, when you think someone is talking about you behind your back, you'll be paranoid, and think that whenever a negative expression comes up, they're talking about you. Whether or not the conversation WAS about you is a different matter altogether... This is really a most interesting concrete poem... The use of bold on negative expressions seems to emphasise what the eavesdropper heard, and the use of italics on the more positive words seems to show what he missed.  Well, that's just my interpretation. [This message has been edited by Mon Cherie (edited 12-03-2001).] |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Even in a whisper the GR8 Voice of the Northlands siezes our attention and demands our fealty! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
"Please notice that word, "Constructive". Don't just tell me you didn't like it, offer suggestions on how I can make it better. Thanks!!!" John, John, John, now I'm going to assume you've just had a kind of a bad day and you forgot those line breaks!!!! And what about those complete sentences?? ummmm???? Have a burrito and call your doctor in the morning if this does not pass!!!!! Kathleen (Kay) |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Sven - this is very concrete my friend, why didn't I think of this???? BC |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
I love it, new to me. Often we have surperficial contact, avoid seeing beyond what is presented to us and don't see how a person really is, whether is positive traits or negative ones. Allot said in this one. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
thank you all for your excellent replies. . . the basic idea that I was trying to show here is one of me (or any other poet), in the center, surrounded by friends. . . friends who say positive things, who care. . . but, as the surroundings grow, those that are not close to the center, close to me, or to you (if you place yourself there), the words they say among the whispers are heard loudly. . . they "stand out". . . and that's all that you can hear. . . and all you can see. . . sometimes missing what's right around you. . . but, I must say that I liked Eagle Scorpion's interpretation as well, it's another way of looking at it. . . one that I never thought of. . . thank you. . . so, that's it. . . I'm glad that I could make you think, and that you looked at this with your own eyes. . . thank you all again. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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