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Open Poetry #17
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The Betrayal
| Open Poetry #17 |
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The Betrayal |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Lover betrayed, is the song I sing. I should know it very well. I didn’t learn the song you see, I wrote it, can’t you tell. There’s a scar on my heart when it was badly broken I’ve never been able to love before, left loving words unspoken. Then you came into my life and showed me that I could feel I never thought I’d fall for you that you’d melt my heart of steel. Words can’t describe the way your love made me feel I always wondered if I dreamed or if this love was real. Afraid of all these feelings, I betrayed your love and trust though you shut me out of your life there so much we should discuss. I still long to kiss you to feel your loving touch your pain is very real, but yet, mine hurts just as much. I know you won’t forgive me (I’ll never beg that you do) so I will stand alone in life guilt ridden and untrue. Tho we must always live separate and apart. I will always love you and hold you in my heart |
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| © Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Oh my gosh......my heart goes out to you....such pain and love all combined in your heartfelt words. I hope it gets better for you soon. **big hugs** Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
A sad but well written poem. To betray or be betrayed, is one worse than the other in the leftover feelings? |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
aww I'm sorry sweetie. I won't tell you that there are more fish in the sea, because that one is over-used..but I what I will say is that the line on your fishing pole goes on when you decide to fish again! (hugs) |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This broke my heart! (One of these days I'll learn these similies and not have edit this darn thing so much  signature-->Kathleen (Kay) "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 11-28-2001).] |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Tis true that love is a scary path to choose and when we can't accept it for any reason, it always leaves a scar...yet for some reason, it is sought after with so much of our being. A wonderful write and filled with much emotion. I liked the 2-4 rhyme scheme very much. One that I have never been able to do well without spoiling it by tossing the 1-3 rhyme in with it. |
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Streen Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169 |
My heart goes out to you for I once cheated on my girl, even though she is my love. It hurt both of us an awful lot; her that I did it, I that I hurt her. Hopefully, things will become better for you. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
the rhythm here is very good. . . it flows without becoming sing-song like. . . as for the words. . . you tell them very well. . . I know that you don't write from life, but you make us believe the words. . . excellent. . . -------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
I hear a sad, yet beautiful song. Well done. Deb |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Ms DeVine - A very interesting poem here - origianl and tight. Nicely written. I like the way you introduced the topic, described it, then closed it off so neatly. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Well, deVine one, you penned another heart wrenching piece. Beautiful in its sadness. Now it is time to forgive yourself  Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Song sung blue..... and very well I might add! Nice writing poetess. ~hugs, Nancy~ "A dream is a wish your heart makes..." |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Very sensitive write, thank you for sharing Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ah...tis not about me, but thank you all for your most kind comments...you make this poetess smile.  |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
PhilllaudThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Glad that this isn't about you, heartwrenched piece.....beautifully done!! ((hugs)) Charisma ~*Theresia~* |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
My best to you and a *hug* this sunny Sunday by the sea. Michael Michael Auguste~ |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Poet deVine - to be betrayed, how well you tell it, how well. Nothing more can be said... BC |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
deVine, Was I just betrayed? I'm not sure. Thought this was about you but apparently not. Evidence you hit the mark! The past is history and the future is a mystery, but today is a gift and that is why it is the present! |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Poet de Vine...I was so glad to hear that it wasn't about you.  But it is sad and beautifully written.  copyright2001 Lyra Nesius |
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Ariana Senior Member
since 2000-10-08
Posts 571Orlando, Florida |
Poet de Vine: I too was betrayed after many years of marriage and it is not a very nice feeling. I am glad that it was not you, but your words were well written. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very good write, Sharon. Glad you are not in this situation. Sandra |
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