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Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-10-05 07:11 PM

It was You Missing

Fall has found me at last
with its bright sky.
It has unfurled and danced
across my vision as I listened
to the soft muted sound of trees,
dreaming and lost and forgetful

Fall has turned the sunny heat
of my longing
into a broken leaf strewn sidewalk
crunched into tiny fragments
of feeling,
where you brush
me up against the wall
with the memory of your breathe.

I have lost your song
to the birds flying, flying
away to a more noble tree,
I dance to silence
in search of summer’s symphonies.

Was the vision of September
a wave that horizons only see
on days when fools are made?
I am lost without this illusion,
forsaken by my own skin,
cold and shrunken.

The cement holds the heat,
slow to give up, until time
and night bring the chilling
and I call your name
across the idle hours of morning
and warm to your answering call.

I was never gone,
it was you that was missing.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

1 posted 2001-10-05 07:16 PM

Oh Martie, this is absolutely stunning!
I loved every single line, but these below stood out the most.....

Was the vision of September
a wave that horizons only see
on days when fools are made?
I am lost without this illusion,
forsaken by my own skin,
cold and shrunken.

Beautiful!

Maree

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2001-10-05 07:18 PM

Oh Martie ... such a tender write ... beautiful remembrance and phrasing.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-10-05 08:02 PM

Fall has found me at last
with its bright sky.
It has unfurled and danced
across my vision as I listened
to the soft muted sound of trees,
dreaming and lost and forgetful

Fall has turned the sunny heat
of my longing
into a broken leaf strewn sidewalk
crunched into tiny fragments
of feeling,
where you brush
me up against the wall
with the memory of your breathe.

*big ole sigh on that verse*
===================================

I was never gone,
it was you that was missing.
==================================

you KNOW I LOVE this one..right??
Oh my...and FEEL every line of it...
the way you attach the elements of nature to an emotion or take a tangible object and attach an emotion to it(yes--vestibule)
IS JUST SO AWESOME!!!

<of my longing
into a broken leaf strewn sidewalk
crunched into tiny fragments
of feeling>>

SEE WHAT I MEAN...
CLASSIC MARTIE POETRY!!

me

We're all feeding our lonely ... like it might go away,
Like the doors of heaven will swing wide ... if we just find the right words to say.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2001-10-05 08:20 PM

I was never gone,
it was you that was missing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Martie...I just love this piece so much! Thank you so much for giving us this one today....it was needed my friend.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-10-05 08:28 PM

yes, I love this Martie, it's perfect.

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member

since 2001-10-03

Posts 818
USA

6 posted 2001-10-05 08:55 PM

Oh, Martie, I am in awe with this one and I never say that!

Moon Dust

Member Elite

since 1999-06-11

Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK

7 posted 2001-10-05 09:13 PM

oh I liked this one so much.

I breathe the dust, the dust is me.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

8 posted 2001-10-05 10:36 PM

Wonderfully written, Martie! Fantastic expression!

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

9 posted 2001-10-05 10:39 PM

Martie, I do believe this is some of your best writing. Just loved it!

Michael

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

10 posted 2001-10-05 11:16 PM

Oh Martie, your words here have such beauty. And I love that ending

I was never gone,
it was you that was missing.

Magnificent.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

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