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Open Poetry #16
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Two Lovers
| Open Poetry #16 |
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Two Lovers |
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The Rusty Knight Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414Texas |
Two lovers walk in twilight Making footprints in the warm white sand Seeking a quiet secluded place To sit in love’s embrace The air was still, not a rustling leaf As they found a spot under a tall palm tree The sea was like a great blue glass When they sat on the soft sea grass As the last light faded, their gaze was frozen Not on each other, but on a tiny crescent While it rose in the eastern skies And grew and brightened before their eyes The moon was doubled in a special way It was reflected by the calm blue sea All senses were awake on this dark still night As they saw one reflection and one true light Up it rose until there were two Giant worlds caught in a lingering kiss Where sea touched sky seemed a mist Of heat and passion in a fiery blaze And then they parted as if they knew One must rise and light the sky And the other must go a different way Until they could meet another day Ecstasy was found upon the beach this night Gazing into the distance at the full moon light Two lovers touched though not as planned As they sat in awe hand in hand RdanJ 9/2001 |
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| © Copyright 2001 RdanJ2001 - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
oh yes, this is soft and beautiful...I think your "thoughtfaul pout" is working  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Dan~ Very romantically done~ Nice imagery ... hurry up moon ! ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
How romantic. I remember a time just like this. Thank you for a memory jogger!! On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Two lovers touched though not as planned As they sat in awe hand in hand hmmmmm...like it I do *s ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Two lovers touched though not as planned As they sat in awe hand in hand Love it Dan!! Great imagery creating a romantic story. Yes! This is your style of writing and we want more of it! Enjoyed...enjoyed! ...did he hand her a feather? *S* ~Time has cast a spell on you |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed reading your poem...James |
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Topheth Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 297Texas |
Great, great, Dan. Those last eight lines were inspiring. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
How beautiful, much enjoyed. Sandra |
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The Rusty Knight Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414Texas |
Thanks everyone...this is a poem I have loved and hated...I started it about six months ago and never could get it to work so I put it up for a while and then would drag it back out and work on it come more....It got to the point the only time I would work on it was after the second bowl of double dutch almond ice cream...as punishment....It is still not where I hope it winds up, but I wanted to post it before I got to the point of deleting it. Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream. |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Rusty...something this good..you should never delete..enjoyed it alot alan |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Sorry, but deletion is futile...compulsory completion is mandated by the throngs who have already read it. But I know what you mean about dragging it around for a long time, begging it to behave. Good luck on re-writes. I'm happy with it just as it is now. |
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NightShadow Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 127New Jersey |
This is a very wonderful poem! Glad you didn't delete it so you could share it with all of us!  A Life without Love, is no life at all... |
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
Awesome, beautiful poem. I loved it! Brings back some moments for me as well, and makes me want to create some more. I'm with Midnite, I don't think you should touch a single moonlit line. PS I'd be happy to take a stroll on the beach with you anytime  [This message has been edited by Apachecat906 (edited 09-24-2001).] |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
Embracing in Moonlight touch Yes I loved this very, very much stroll on the beach Two hearts reach Hope |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Yanno...this was so romantic, and brought back such vivid memories for me, and for that I thank you more than you will ever know. So soft, and gentle, and you did an awesome job on your visuals (almost pictured me there hah!) |
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The Rusty Knight Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414Texas |
Thank you, I guess when you struggle with a poem for so long you lose your perspective of where it is now...it must be getting close when such lovely ladies with such inspiring poems of their own on pip are inspired to take a walk along the beach with me ...he blushes.. Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
This is wonderful..... Bridgette |
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